Following on from the fantastic success of British competitors during the 2012 Games and the general euphoria throughout the nation it is hoped we can repeat these achievements in Brazil 2016.
To this event (no pun intended) the International Games Committee (IGC) had already sanctioned, in 2013, the introduction of a new event called, 'Balcony flinging' which has proved to be a winning pastime among young British holidaymakers.
Due to our prowess in this particular sport 'Team UK' have set up numerous 'training camps' in such warm Spanish climes as, Magaluf, Ibiza and St Antonio to name but a few.
Each resort has seen its share of superb balcony tosser's during the past few months, some nose-diving from as high as 18 floors, thus setting unrivalled records and giving the UK a distinct advantage over its rivals.
Unofficial reports suggest that given the expertise our young competitors show for this sport we could easily carry off the Gold, Silver and Bronze in 2016.
Armed with this knowledge the UK has approached the IGC yet again with a view to adding yet another unique event for 2016, namely 'Gobbling', this new sport is beginning to take off in a big way and is very popular with drunken female competitors, especially in Magaluf.
This new sport requires very little exertion from competitors other than the ability to drink as much cheap piss as possible, drop to their knees semi-conscious -for which suitable pads are supplied -then gobble off as many totally pissed male cocks as possible in the quickest time. Swallowing en masse garners extra points but is not mandatory if the cock count is high.
It would appear that senior members of the IGC are more than interested in this application and a number of them will be jetting off to Magaluf shortly to 'experience' first hand this new and quite exciting proposed event.
The current, although unofficial, UK champion gobbler is 20 year old; 'Randy Mandy' from Huddersfield who has to date managed 24 men in two-and-a-half minutes without spilling a drop. But if accepted by the IGC it is generally considered that Mandy's close rival, Sharon 'plunger' Twats from Leeds, 19 will not only down more cheap piss but take out 30 tossers inside two minutes thus blowing Mandy's record to bits.