"Send A Message" To 9-Year-Olds Says GOP Chief

Written by Keith Shirey

Saturday, 5 July 2014

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Oversight and Government Reform Chairman Darrell Issa, R-Calif., has sent President Barack Obama a letter calling for an end to the 2012 executive order granting stays of deportation to children brought into the country illegally by their parents when they were babies and infants. Such persons are called "dreamers."

Reversing the president's Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals order, known as DACA, would "send a clear signal to all toddlers that our immigration laws will be enforced," the California Republican and thirty-two House GOP cosigners wrote.

Issa believes more deportations will send a "signal" to "nine-year-olds in countries like Honduras, Guatemala, and El Salvador who are coming illegally into the U.S. to find their families who are already here.

"I don't give a rat's ass about so-called 'family values.' They mean nothing compared to my need to properly represent the bigots, xenophobes, old white people, Tea Party voters and other great Americans in my District," said the congressman.

"Sorry, but if some Central American young people want to come here illegally, the appropriate solution is to deport the dreamers from the U.S., the only home they've ever known, by rescinding the executive order," stated the Oversight and Government Reform Chairman.

"It's an American values issue," he concluded.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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