Man Invents Lovers Bed With Built In After Sex Cigarette

Written by Auntie Jean

Saturday, 5 July 2014

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British Inventor, Getin Divan has invented a luxury bed in time for the after Christmas bed buying frenzy, which knows when making love has ocurred and puffs out electronically generated cigarette aromas to complete the experience.

A spokesperson for Orgasmatron Divans told our reporter, "Yes, there have been other sexy beds which fill with water, undulate and vibrate, but ours has been designed so well, using teams of volunteers that this bed really breaks the mould.

The bed has sensors for everything and can fake female or male orgasms, or even multiple ones. The bed can give partners a headache, or increase staying power with anti erectile dysfunction vapours. The bed can even prompt couples to get together if it detects that not enough sex is ocurring. Pop up self inflating dolls are being considered as a possible optional extra but are still in the design stage.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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