Miley, Thicke, Gaga To Sing At Kim's Wedding
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have asked Lady Gaga, Mylie Cyrus, Thicke, Madonna, and Bruno Mars to sing at their wedding. The couple - who have a seven-month-old daughter North - are expected to marry in France in the summer and it is said they a...
Read full storyLatest Breakthrough in Global Climate Change Scientific Measurement Has Direct Connectivity to Al Gore's Ass
The latest advance in wearable technology has produced a startling breakthrough in the ongoing quest to track measurement of the deleterious impact of global climate change. It has been scientifically established that Al Gore himself is the world'...
Read full storyGiant sloth terrorises sanitation workers in NYC sewage tunnel
New York - Two NYC Dept of Environmental Protection workers had to be taken to the Emergency Room today after being menaced by a huge Sasquatch-type of creature - thought to be a throwback to the rare Megatherium giant sloth last seen during the Eart...
Read full storyBreaking News from NPR: Pope John Paul II's Underwear Stolen from Reliquary
One of only three known pairs of underwear stained with what's said to be Pope John Paul II's dried urine was stolen over the weekend from a small church in the mountains of Italy's central Abruzzo region. According to the BBC, the thief or thieve...
Read full storyBeyoncé and Miley Cyrus Will Have Strip-Off for Charity
Los Angeles, CA Exciting news was announced today when publicists for Beyoncé and Miley Cyrus said that the two songstresses would be holding a benefit for the Naked Clowns charity. The Naked Clowns have a goal of raising $1,000,000 worth of donation...
Read full storyIsrael Accuses China Of Selling Cheap Rocks to PLO
A spokesman from Israel today told the United Nations that the Chinese are winding up with much of the money sent to help the PLO have food and necessities. China is using child labor to make solid round but lighter-weight but lethal stones and se...
Read full storyBong tragedy at Denver high school
Denver, Colorado - A 16 year-old student at Smoke-On-The-Water High School accidentally set himself on fire today in what cops suspect might be the first recorded tragic bong accident at a Colorado public school since decriminalization of the pot law...
Read full storyFrancois Hollonde declares: "Let her eat cake!" Valerie Trierweller slams window on his genitals!
New pictures published in the Paris newspaprers this morning show a bloodied and bent Francois Hollande crawling out of a window at the Presidential mansion in Paris. He is seen holding a motorcycle helmet over his genitals and and staggering to a wa...
Read full storyWhite Doves Attacked By Raven At Vatican
VATICAN CITY - Two white doves that were released by children standing alongside Pope Francis as a peace gesture have been attacked by a large raven. The doves were pounced on right after they were set free from an open window of the Apostolic Pal...
Read full storyVampires suspected as holy artefuct stolen from Vatican chapel
Rome - A vile (sic) of Pope JP2's blood that vanished from the Vatican Chapel of the Immaculate Deception may have been stolen to order by the Pontiff's vampire descendants according to early forensic reports. Police trawling through the Via Dolor...
Read full storyJapan, Threatened Constantly by China, Joins U.S. in Building Super War Robots
The Japanese government which is getting more and more concerned with the Chinese and their military might, have sent some of their best brains and technicians to the U.S. to start a huge army of robotic warriors. No, these do not look like the on...
Read full storyDenver Broncos Sign Sumo Wrestler For 2014 Season
The Denver Broncos have signed one of the world's best sumo wrestlers to a two-year contract it was announced today. The Broncos front office told the Sporting News that with this guy playing center in front of him, they hope to keep Peyton Mannin...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Proud of His Brand New Tattoo
PYONGYANG, North Korea - The leader of North Korea has just stated in The Pyongyang Press-Post that he is positively thrilled with his brand new tattoo. The tattoo, which is a missile, was a gift from his favorite cousin Chung Fu Moo, Jr., who kne...
Read full storyA Gasoline Station In Aspen, Colorado Is Raking In The Bucks With Its Fabulous Marijuana Promotion
ASPEN, Colorado - Local residents of the ski resort town of Aspen are as happy as woodpeckers in a kitchen cabinet factory. The word has gotten out that The Big Tex Texaco Gasoline Station is giving customers who fill up their vehicles three marij...
Read full storyKim Jong Um On Outs With Dennis Rodman
After the Supreme Leader's birthday bash he looked glum. Even his extensive collection of porn couldn't cheer him up or his nail lady, Yum Sweet Delight. Now it turns out that the fur coat given to him by Mr. Rodman on his birthday wasn't what he w...
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