"Doctorate in Cowboy" Program Gathering Steam at State Schools
LARAMIE, WYOMING- With the successful launch of the Cowboy Ph.D. programs at Colorado State in Ft. Collins and the University of Wyoming in Laramie, men and women of all stripes seeking a career are flocking to enroll. Especially popular among t...
Read full storyDodgy smack wrap suspected in Philip Seymour Hoffman RIP
New York - Cops searching the West Village home of Oscar winning actor Philip Seymour Hoffman said today a suspicious wrap of toxic heroin may have killed him after similar poisonous substances were seized in New York in as part of an online Super Bo...
Read full storyPolice Develop New Non-Lethal Weapon That Makes Suspect Think He/She's Invisible
Scientists have provided the police in major cities with a new taser-like gun that makes the perp think he or she is invisible. "This is great", said one officer who has tried it out. "I sprayed this guy and let him leave to see where he was heade...
Read full storyKate Middleton should have married David Cameron and not Prince 'Ron Weasley' William says JK Rowling
London - The daft old children's story thief said today she regretted her part in marrying off Kate Middleton to royal ugly bug Prince William after noticing the constant bulge in Big Dave Cameron's pants. "Dave's still got the hots for Kate, the...
Read full storyUKIP suggest quota on number Glaswegian football managers in England
The UKIP has suggested limiting the number of managers from Scotland's First City that are allowed at English football clubs. A spokesman said 'I'm no racist, I had a poster of Bill Shankly on my wall when I was growing up, but enough is enough.
Read full story3D printer able to make printer which doesn't paper jam 'by 2016'
Shocked industry insiders came away from a recent trade exhibition in South Korea with plenty to think about. The presentation showing the uses for 3D printers had the most interest from the delegates. However, no-one expected to hear what was ann...
Read full storyPresident Obama uses 'Executive Order' to eliminate Congress
Today, the President took unprecedented action. Citing gridlock, do-nothingness, and an utter disdain for the Representatives of the people of the United States, the President signed Executive Order #100068. This order reads, "Effective immediately,...
Read full storyWestern Universities to Offer Cowboy Degree
FORT COLLINS, COLORADO - Colorado State University spokeswoman, Heather St. John, announced today that in light of changing employment needs in the U.S., CSU would be offering B.S. and. Master's Degrees in Cowboy Science. "Our enrollment has dro...
Read full storyCheney Shoots Justin Bieber in Face
Washington, DC In breaking news, it was announced that Dick Cheney has just shot Justin Bieber in the face with a shotgun. Bieber was rushed to the hospital and will be ok but his baby face will never be the same. Cheney, who claims executive pri...
Read full story"Colorado Has Idiots" New Reality Show Hilarious!
NBC has bought the rights to "Colorado Has Idiots!" which will begin in a couple of months" according to spokesman, David Gheer. Gheer told reporters that they have several 'Idiot' videos already "that almost caused me to wet my pants" and that th...
Read full storyResurgence of Woody Allen child molestation claims sits uncomfortably with Ecuador's latest corruption cheerleader Mia Farrow
New York - Last week 68 year old actress Mia Farrow joined a motley ragbag of Ecuador eco-corruption deniers such as Bianca Jagger, Kerry Kennedy and Trudie Styler as the latest cheerleader for Amazonbotch plaintiffs' bent lawyer Steven Donziger.
Read full storyBurger King's NBA-Themed Double Dribble Deluxe Cheeseburgers Are Having Great Sales
MIAMI, Florida - Burger King Spokesman Gavin Zhivago related that the BK home office is positively thrilled with the sales of their latest menu addition. Zhivago said that the new NBA-themed Double Dribble Deluxe Cheeseburger is selling like gangb...
Read full storyMontana Bans Crosshairs On High Powered Telescopic Rifles
HELENA, Montana - The state of Montana has just become the first state in the union to go up against the powerful National Rifle Association and issue a rifle related ban. Willie McSpinach, a spokesperson for the state, told the news media that Mo...
Read full storyA Beer Brewery In Germany Was Actually A Distribution Center For Marijuana
BERLIN - Police in Berlin have broken up the notorious Arizona Underground Marijuana Smuggling Operation. The highly intricate pot distribution program was the brainchild of the Tucson-based Salami Brothers, Jorge, Hernando, and Timmy. Berlin p...
Read full storyOne of America's Shortest Cougars, Katie Couric Has Announced She's Getting Married
NEW YORK CITY - The journalist that Sarah Palin called Little Miss Ambusher has told the news media that she will be walking down the aisle before summertime. Katie Couric, who is 57, is thrilled that she has finally convinced her latest boy toy,...
Read full storyChick-fil-A Announces A Name Change
ATLANTA - The second largest chicken franchise in the nation has decided to listen to its customers and it is making a slight change to its corporate name. Cullen Rigadoon, company spokesman said that the home office has received thousands of emai...
Read full storyThe Taliban Plot To Kidnap Camilla Parker Bowles Is Foiled
LONDON - Scotland Yard has reported that they have uncovered a political plot by the infamous Taliban to kidnap Camilla Parker Bowles, wife of Prince Charles. Officer Higgins Higginbrook speaking to Chatsworth Wigginholt of The Ta Ta For Now News...
Read full storyA Colorado Dump Truck Owner Sells Pot From His Truck
DURANGO, Colorado - Dump truck owner Roy "Trucky" Finnflick says that he never realized when he purchased his 2009 dump truck that he would end up using it to haul and sell marijuana. Roy spoke with American Spotlight Magazine and said that he can...
Read full storyThe Sofia Vergara Bobblehead Dolls Are Being Recalled
CHICAGO - The Hasbrother Toy Company has just announced that all of the Sofia Vergara Bobblehead Dolls that have been sent to retail stores in the USA are being recalled. A spokesperson for the toy manufacturing company stated that the dolls are b...
Read full storyA Bakery In San Francisco Charges Extra For Straight Marriage Wedding Cakes
SAN FRANCISCO - National Focus Magazine has just made it known that there is a bakery in San Francisco that is causing quite a stir. It appears that Skippy & Bippy's Sweet Bakery Shop has started charging straight customers more for their wedd...
Read full storyHarry Connick, Jr. - Yes, I Love Sandra Bullock, But I'm Married
LOS ANGELES - Singing sensation Harry Connick, Jr., has said that there is one actress that he really and truly admires and that woman is Sandra Bullock. Harry recently told Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight that Sandy has everything that a...
Read full storyJustin Bieber's Mom Catches Him In His Room Holding His Breath
TORONTO - The mother of Justin Bieber says that thanks to her heartless, irresponsible, and ditsy son she has aged 10 years in the past 10 months. Pattie Mallette told a reporter for a local newspaper that she has no idea what in the world happene...
Read full storyU.S. Running Out of Ph.D. Positions
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - The Boston Consortium announced today that the U.S. is running out of Ph.D. positions. With a student count of 122,000, the Boston Consortium Schools report they cannot possibly guarantee their Ph.D. candidates jobs when they...
Read full storyHollywood Decides to Move to Bollywood
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Angered by water restrictions imposed on the movie industry by the State of California, Hollywood has decided to move to Bollywood. Key entertainment heads have banded together to outsource the industry to India as soon as ne...
Read full storyHosepipe ban in Somerset town of Muchelney to remain. Residents fined £1000 per week.
Councillors in the largely aquatic town of Muchelney in Somerset have announced that the restrictions on the use of water, including the controversial "hosepipe ban" are to remain in force for the rest of 2014. "We can't get to the offices to lift t...
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