Councillors in the largely aquatic town of Muchelney in Somerset have announced that the restrictions on the use of water, including the controversial "hosepipe ban" are to remain in force for the rest of 2014. "We can't get to the offices to lift the ban, which accidentally came into force when a computer got wet last Monday", said Ms. Felicity Job-Sworth this morning.
"Everyone is being fined £1000 per week for the actions of a handful of people watering their lawns with drainage hose pipes connected to extraction pumps", said a traffic lifeguard today.
The Vicar of nearby Bath has offered a reward of £150,000 for the return of his Koi fish which were last seen swimming north towards Weston Supermare.
