Republican senate hopeful ups election ante with AR-15 assault rifle AND personal drone plane raffle prizes
Washington - US Congressman and stalwart Second Amendment enthusiast Paul Broun has launched a competition on his website offering a fantastic array of assault weapons as prizes to supporters of his anti gun control election mandate. Inspired by t...
Read full storyLondon MPs warn Scotland 'Vote for independence, reduce GDP by 8%, bring down wrath of Zeus'
Westminster politicians of all colours started the 'No For Independence' campaign by suggesting that if Scotland left the Union there would be terrible economic and social consequences. One cabinet member said 'Isolation would risk inward investme...
Read full storyEmily Bronte 'disappointed had to pose in underwear to promote sister's new book'
Excited researchers from Bradford University have been digesting newly-found diaries by Emily Bronte. According to one academic 'She was very happy to feature in GQ magazine along with Anne and Charlotte to help promote The Tenant of Wildfell Hall...
Read full storyLib Dem MP 'Storms, floods punishment from God for voting 'no' to AV in referendum'
There was consternation in the Liberal Democrats as an MP blogged 'The floods in Somerset are a warning from God - they are Divine retribution for the country rejecting the Alternative Vote system. It is clear that it is His will for the count...
Read full storyMilitary airlifts planned for future traffic jams during Sunbelt snow/ice storms
Marietta, GA-Representatives of Lockheed-Martin, the United States Air Force, the United States Army, the Federal Emergency Management Agency and various local state agencies are drafting contingency plans for a Berlin-airlift response which official...
Read full storyWendy Davis Releases More Details about Her Life
Austin, Texas: Following on her claim to be "more focused on the detail," Wendy Davis disclosed more information today about her amazing life story. Below are some of the previously unknown details, listed in no particular order of importance. She dated Elvis, O. J. Simpson, George Clooney, and JFK, Jr. at the same time. She was a stealth member of Seal Team Six on the Bin Laden kill missi...
Read full storyChris Christie Slips On Banana Peel At Howard Stern's
New York- A former Port Authority official at the center of the George Washington Bridgegate scandal today called Gov. Chris Christie's a liar. "He knew about the closure of entrance ramps to the bridge which caused massive traffic jams." "Hell,...
Read full storyCalifornia Wine Grapes World's Most Expensive Raisins?
NAPA, CALIFORNIA - As the California drought continues, a controversy is fermenting in the Napa Valley. A spokesman for the California Wine Grape Growers Association issued a strong statement concerning Governor Brown's recent suggestion. Brow...
Read full storyCalifornia's Top Ten Water Saving Tips
1. Make sure to keep tissues handy to collect dog breath condensation on car windows. 2. Put ice cubes back in freezer after using. 3. Collect dew from dewey-eyed starlets in Hollywood. 4. Follow Governor Brown's example and forego showering. 5. Require all foreign tourists to bring a minimum supply of five liter water bottles. 6. Ban wet t-shirt contests. 7. T...
Read full storySan Joaquin Valley Bread Basket Status Reduced to Dried Crust
A renowned agricultural scientist from Davis University issued a sobering warning to the world today. Crop scientist, Dr. Buford Bunnelkins, an expert on pretty much everything to do with growing stuff in California, says the "Bread Basket of t...
Read full storyStephen King Movie "Dr. Sleep" to Use "Twilight" Tricks
A few years ago in the second Twilight movie series a director used several tricks, not trick photography, for some scenes that are going to be used in the next Stephen King movie, "Dr. Sleep". If you remember some of the expressions, you'll love...
Read full storyOlympic Officials Announce New Winter Events
SOCHI, RUSSIA - Olympic officials announced today the debut of three new winter events. The Avalanchathon is an event where skiers attempt to ski through man made avalanches. Points are achieved by 1) remaining upright and 2) surviving.
Read full storyJustin Bieber In Denial: I Have Never Smoked Pot - Of Course I Think That I May Just Be In Denial, But Maybe Not
TORONTO - Justin Bieber says that he has made an appointment to see a therapist about his addiction to caffeine and cashews. The Canadian singer recently told Hacienda Dakota with Hollywood Vis-รก-Vis that he feels that the news media has treated h...
Read full storyLas Vegas Reports $48 Billion Has Been Bet On Super Bowl 48
LAS VEGAS - The Las Vegas Betting Coalition has just issued a report stating that Super Bowl XLVIII has just set a record for bets. An insider stated that as of Saturday morning, February 1, at 11:45 a.m. the total amount of money that had been be...
Read full storyA World War II Nazi General Found Living In A Cave In An Isolated South Pacific Island
SAN FRANCISCO - A reporter with American Spotlight Magazine has just learned that a World War II Nazi officer has been found living in a cave on a remote South Pacific Island. The Nazi officer identified as General Hans Studebaker fled Germany aft...
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Explains Why He Visited A Louisiana Voodoo Woman
DALLAS - The owner of the Dallas Cowboys Jerry Jones has gone on record as saying that he is tired of his team finishing 8-8 for the last three years. Jones remarked to Dottie Bazooka with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily that he has spent billions...
Read full storyThe Best Team In The NBA - The Oklahoma City Thunder Are Running Roughshod Over Every Other Team
OKLAHOMA CITY - There is no doubt in any NBA fan's mind as to which team is the top team in the NBA. The Oklahoma City Thunder are currently at 37-10 and are consistently winning; and winning without one of their top stars Russell Westbrook (#0),...
Read full storyAn Unemployed Banana Picker In Costa Rica Finds $4 Million [U.S.] In His Trash Can
SAN JOSE, Costa Rica - An unemployed banana picker named Joey Caramba has just become the luckiest man in Central America. Caramba was at his home putting some trash in his garbage can. As he took off the trash can lid he noticed two blue bags wer...
Read full storyBoston Red Sox Sideline Reporter Jenny Dell Is Out The Door
BOSTON - An inside source at NESM has stated that Jenny Dell has been relieved of her sideline duties effective immediately. It appears that the sexually attractive Miss Dell violated an unwritten rule that states that reporters will not fraterniz...
Read full storyDolly Parton Wanted To Take Her Girls To The Super Bowl In New York City But As Cold As It Is Going To Be She Said They'd Stick Out Like Two Sore Thumbs
NASHVILLE - Country music artist Dolly Parton says she was really looking forward to attending Super Bowl 48. She stated that she placed a $235 bet with her old friend Kenny Rogers. Dolly bet on the Denver Broncos and Kenny bet on the Seattle Seah...
Read full storyRussell Brand Tells Bruce Jenner He Wants To Date Him After He Has His Sex-Change Operation
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand and Bruce Jenner have always been good friends, but Brand recently said that one day he hopes to be even closer friends. Brand spoke with Ling Chow Rangoon of iRumors at The Enchanted Enchilada Restaurant in West Hol...
Read full storyThe Milwaukee Bucks Are The NBA's Cellar Dwellers
MILWAULKEE - The fans of the Milwaukee Bucks are starting to chant "Go Yucks" at their home games. Coach Larry Drew's team's record is a very dismal 8-37. The Bucks are in last place in the entire 30 team league. One fan who refused to give his...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Wants For President Obama To Give Justin Bieber Another Chance Before He Deports Him To Canada
BEVERLY HILLS - Miley Cyrus was sitting in the Haven of Hair Salon getting her hair colored when her hair stylist FuFi Fondue asked her what she thought about Justin Bieber possibly getting sent back to Canada. Miley became very sad and she said t...
Read full storySomerset housewife denies leaving bath filling while at hairdressers
Housewife Gloria Red-Nees has denied flooding Somerset by leaving the bath taps running while at the hairdressers. Husband, Lord Farquharse Red- Nees said "Oh yes you did" to her this morning. "I bloody well did not" said Gloria to our flooded co...
Read full storyObamaBowlaRama Franchise Offered to the Nation
CHUGWATER, WYOMING - Twin brothers, Buck and Chuck Clapsaddle, 36, have announced their award winning, multimillion dollar business, ObamaBowlaRama, a bowling alley with a political twist, will be offered for nationwide and possibly international f...
Read full storyIcelandic curling champ enroute to games of a lifetime
Norse Norsemanson, Reykjavikian athlete extraordinaire is pumped about competing in the Sochi,Russia Winter Olympics. "I've looked forward to going up against the best sweepers the world has to offer for a long time now." Norsemanson said in a...
Read full storyIsland home gone, Maldives residents looking for drier ground
Their island paradise vanished, last of the Maldive Islanders Flo and Jock Brokingham decided to pack it in last Friday after getting a soaking standing on their cottage roof. "We're not altogether unhappy with the climate's decision to forci...
Read full story