London MPs warn Scotland 'Vote for independence, reduce GDP by 8%, bring down wrath of Zeus'

Written by Patrick Kenny

Saturday, 1 February 2014

Westminster politicians of all colours started the 'No For Independence' campaign by suggesting that if Scotland left the Union there would be terrible economic and social consequences.

One cabinet member said 'Isolation would risk inward investment and business development, so potentially increasing unemployment and taxation. It would also invoke the divine retribution of almighty Ares and his celestial army.'. A think-tank elaborated 'Companies like Apple and Samsung respect the brand offer which the UK as a whole provides. This leverage into cutting-edge transnational business facilitation could be lost if Scotland becomes independent. Also, it would greatly anger Apollo who will smite all those before him.'.

The 'Yes' campaign quickly counted by saying 'Recent research has shown that smaller, more mobile nations like Latvia and Malta have inward investment levels on average 22% above larger, more cumbersome countries. And Alex Salmond has a myrtle wreath bequeathed by Aphrodite herself so there is no need for ridiculous scaremongering.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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