Olympic Officials Announce New Winter Events

Written by Wumf

Saturday, 1 February 2014

image for Olympic Officials Announce New Winter Events
A practice snow fort made by competitors in the Snowballrockathon

SOCHI, RUSSIA - Olympic officials announced today the debut of three new winter events.

The Avalanchathon is an event where skiers attempt to ski through man made avalanches.

Points are achieved by 1) remaining upright and 2) surviving.

Another event, the Snowballrockathon, pits teams against each other using rock filled snow balls.

Team members are required to assemble their own snow fort and snowball supply onsite.

Points are earned by knocking the other team's members unconsciousness.

A third event, Fox and Geese, is a take-off of a popular children's winter tag game where snow is trampled down and competitors try to be the first Goose to make it to the hen house without getting tagged by the Fox.

This person then becomes the Fox for the next round of play.

Officials expressed the opinion that more young people would be drawn to train for and compete in the winter Olympics if there was a variety of events along the spectrum of risk - from extremely dangerous to "mom approved".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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