New Hollywood Movie "Fuselage" Set to Break Box Office Records.
The story involves an ex-airline pilot who becomes a rock star. When his plane is hijacked by Al Qaeda with three hundred passengers on board Al Palermo is lucky to escape with his life, as one of only three survivors. He figures it is time to hand in his wings. Not yet turned forty he believes, as he leaves the sanatorium, carrying the guitar that a fellow inmate gave him just before he hanged hi...
Read full storyFour million drivers are now over seventy years old
News that the UK now has more than four million drivers aged over seventy has surprised some, but it is the fact that they are subject to different driving rules which has come as a real shock to many people. The over-seventies licence, which must...
Read full storyAirline to start charging for use of term "Friendly Skies"
Word has leaked about the real reason behind United Airlines' new advertising campaign featuring its classic "Fly the Friendly Skies" slogan-a steady cash flow. Not only will the slogan be used to lure passengers and prospective customers into t...
Read full storyNewt Gingrich not related to Amphibians, authorities confirm
After extensive research the American Amphibious Society has concluded that Newt Gingrich is not a member of the family Salamandridae, of order Caudata, otherwise commonly known as the newt. The groundbreaking research article was published in the...
Read full storyNew Jersey Governor Signs Nation's First Anti-Wimp Bill
(Trenton, New Jersey) - In an effort to bolster spirits and assist victims of Hurricane Sandy, Governor Chris Christie signed the state's first Anti-Wimp Bill. Christie said the bill was passed in an effort to "give New Jersey residents some spine."...
Read full storyNew Jersey Dad Can Only Speak in Maxims By Ben Franklin
(Ventnor, NJ) - Ventnor resident Mark Hills recently awoke to find he could only speak in wise old sayings from founding father Benjamin Franklin, much to the disappointment of his family, friends and co-workers. Many now believe this bizarre malady...
Read full storyBarking woman credited with Al Shabab Kebab massacre
Nairobi - She's been described by UK red tops as a small and dumpy attention-deficit groupie fixated on big hairy guys with bulging AK 47s. This morning the notorious former Barking, Isle of Dogs resident nicknamed the 'Shite Widow' was named prim...
Read full storySouthern States band together to deport Zimmerman to Alaska
A coalition of Southern States led by Florida and Texas have convened a plenary and joint session of their legislatures to draft a bill banning George Zimmerman of domicile in any of the participating states. The same bill proposes to deport him as f...
Read full storyThe American People Speak, Boehner Hears Voices
Steely blue eyes ablaze with conviction, Speaker of the House John Boehner (R - Ohio) expresses the will of the American People. In virtually every speech, the phrase "the American People want" passes his righteous lips with prophetic certainty and...
Read full storyFunny Signs
I very often see signs that strike me as being very funny. For example there is a sign on a cart in the mall near where I live that reads; 'Ears pierced while you wait'. Is that opposed to leaving your ears while you go get a cup of coffee? Nearby there is another sign that reads; 'Children left unattended will be returned to their rightful parents.' I sure hope they get that one right. Near...
Read full storyGronk-a-Doodle-Doo
BEHIND THE BARN AT GILLETTE STADIUM- With Rob Gronkowski out for the third week of the season, the best we can hope for is an amusing TV commercial featuring Gronk. This week we took in Gronk as spokesperson for a local coffee and donut chain. It'...
Read full storyMurdoch Buys The Royal Mail
In a sensational move media mogul Rupert Murdoch has bought Britain's Royal Mail. In addition astonishing genealogical research by the world renowned genealogist Ned Kelly has established 'beyond doubt' that Murdoch is descended from William the...
Read full storyPamela Anderson May Be Prohibited From Running In The New York City Marathon
NEW YORK CITY - Officials for The 2013 New York City Marathon have just announced that Pamela Anderson who had registered to run in the 26.2 mile race may not be allowed to participate. A spokesperson for the NYCM Committee Chip Carvalino stated t...
Read full storyPresident Obama Furious As The Washington Redskins Fall To (0-3)
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Detroit Lions roared into the nation's capital and took on the Redskins, or Native-Americans as fans in Arizona and New Mexico refer to the Washington team. By the time the dust had settled, the Lions came out on top with a...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Wants To Buy A Civil War Plantation In Mississippi
YAZOO CITY, Mississippi - A representative for North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has informed the American news media that the North Korean president wants to buy an authentic Civil War plantation. Kang Won Goo talked with the owner of the famed Cot...
Read full storyTim Tebow Turns Down A Fantastic Offer To Play Football In Russia
NEW YORK CITY - Sporting Chance Magazine is reporting that the owner of Moscow's professional football team The Black Storm has offered Tim Tebow $1 million to play in two games. Black Storm owner Mikhail Zaltsman told SCM's Hercules Confetti that...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Explains His Unusual Fetish
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Justin Bieber appeared on The Viagra View and he revealed to co-hosts Larry King and Regis Philbin that he has a rather strange fetish. The 19-year-old said that he has never told anyone but he has a strong addiction to Chinese f...
Read full storyFOX Sports Sideline Reporter Pam Oliver May Get Barred From The Sidelines
NEW YORK CITY - The NFL is seriously looking into the Pam Oliver situation and could end up barring the FOX sideline reporter from being on the gridiron sidelines. A spokesperson for the NFL stated that Ms. Oliver just seems to find herself in the...
Read full storyParent Beaten Unconscious for Questioning Common Core at School Meeting
A New Jersey father was beaten unconscious at a public meeting between parents and leaders of his child's school district after he dared to question the purpose of the new Common Core Standards being implemented there. "The Common Core standards w...
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