Parent Beaten Unconscious for Questioning Common Core at School Meeting

Written by Stewart Resnick

Monday, 23 September 2013

A New Jersey father was beaten unconscious at a public meeting between parents and leaders of his child's school district after he dared to question the purpose of the new Common Core Standards being implemented there.

"The Common Core standards will not increase student achievement. Standards have been in place for years and haven't improved our public schools. Examine the research and you'll see." Mr. Russo began to say before he was immediately shouted down by the district's superintendent who yelled "The U.S. Department of Education knows what's best for your child."

When Mr. Russo tried to continue speaking and explain his position he was then approached by an armed security guard and told he had to leave the meeting, witnesses said.

"I will not leave. I am a parent. My child's future is at stake here," Mr. Russo was heard saying as he was confronted by the armed security guard. When Mr. Russo refused to leave and stop talking, witnesses said the security guard struck Mr. Russo on the side of his head with the handle of his gun. Mr. Russo fell to the ground unconscious and bleeding profusely from his mouth and ears. Mr. Russo's limp body was quickly removed from the auditorium.

The superintendent continued speaking to the audience about the merits of the Common Core while Mr.Russo waited for an ambulance. After the ambulance arrived the superintendent gave a Powerpoint presentation on bullying in the schools.

In addition to being ignored by school officials, Mr. Russo was also charged with disrupting a school function and faces up to five years in prison. When asked to comment on the situation the school board president issued a statement saying that "The Common Core Standards will prepare students for career or college."

An investigation is underway while Mr. Russo remains in a coma.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more