NCIS Special Agents Gibbs, DiNozzo & Ziva David wrest Washington Navy Yard massacre probe from Feds
Washington - "And don't you dare call me proby!" the head of NCIS thundered at FBI senior agent Tobias C Fornell as specialist Navy cops demanded jurisdiction over today's carnage at DC's Navy Yard. The complex is the scene of a mass shooting with...
Read full storyTabloids Admit Rooney Pun Drought
The tabloid press have admitted that they are struggling to come up with new puns based on the name of soccer star Wayne Rooney. For many years, the red tops have substituted the words "you" and "who" with "Roo" such as "Roo don't know what you're...
Read full storyBoston's Rajon Rondo Talks About Being The Lone Celtic
BOSTON - Rajon Rondo had surgery to repair a torn ACL the day after Valentine's Day and reports are that he is still not ready to play and will miss the NBA preseason. Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily spoke with the Celtics point gua...
Read full storyGaseous hero dog nominated for Mount Rushmore!
Moose, the gaseous hero dog from Louisburg, NC, has been nominated for Mount Rushmore. George Babcock of Lyndonville, Vermont has started the lengthy process to nominate Moose to be placed on Mont Rushmore. Babcock is quoted by the Associated Press a...
Read full storyTebow Throws a Reverse Nureyev & Dances Up a Storm
Someone should warn Tim Tebow that the Russians are coming! Not since the old movie of the same name has there been such a frontal assault on everything as American as apple pie. And, the hot dog known as Tim Tebow is about as American as you can...
Read full storyPolice bite dog twice in one day
Two policemen were observed biting a big mongrel dog after trying to arrest it for loitering with intent all morning in Gateshead. A witness said that one policeman held the dog while the other one bit it. A small crowd gathered and one elderly...
Read full storyThe Miami Heat's Lebron James Is Now A Married Man
SAN DIEGO - LeBron James of the NBA world champion Miami Heat has just added another ring to go with his other two championship rings. The 28-year-old four time NBA most valuable player married his high school sweetheart, Savannah Brinson, 27, the...
Read full storyPeyton Manning's Denver Broncos Defeat Eli Manning's New York Giants 41-23 In The Manning Bowl
NEW YORK CITY - Peyton Manning and his Rocky Mountain Broncos rode into The Big Apple and when they were through there was apple sauce all over the place. Billed as the Manning Bowl, the Broncos defeated the hometown Giants 41-23. Archie and O...
Read full storyGreen Bay Packers Quarterback Aaron Rodgers Puts Those Trade Rumors To Bed As The Pack Beats The Washington Redskins 38-20
GREEN BAY - The Green Bay Packers had no problem beating the Washington Redskins who are now winless in their first two games. Rodgers had a phenomenal day as he passed for 480 yards and threw 4 touchdown passes as the Packers beat the Redskins 38...
Read full storyThe Reason Why Pau Gasol of The Los Angeles Lakers Shaved Off His Beard
LOS ANGELES - Lakers star Pau Gasol is looking a little bit different in the face department after having shaved off his beard. Gasol told Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Gazette that he did not shave the beard because he lost a bet as one of t...
Read full storyNew England Coach Bill Belichick Wants Wes Welker Back Bad
NEW ENGLAND - The way that Coach Bill Belichick's New England Patriots are losing receivers they may end up having to put in the team punter at the wide end slot. Due to the exodus of receivers Wes Welker, the injury to Rob Gronkowski, the convict...
Read full storyPaula Deen Cooks at a KKK Hog Roast in Mississippi
MERIDIAN, Mississippi - After making an emotional debut at a cooking show in Houston this past Saturday (her first public appearance in months), celebrity chef Paula Deen appeared Sunday at a Ku Klux Klan gathering near the Alabama border. "It's s...
Read full storyRed Sox Fete Mario Rivera with Gifts of the Magi
Mario Rivera found himself honored by the Red Sox before they swept the Yankees in an embarrassing September song. For beating the Sox for twenty years with aplomb and style, the grateful Red Sox sent their Yankee-loving Big Papi to bestow a few c...
Read full storyLib Dem Discordia
Cruise ship Lib Dem Discordia, now lying off the coast of Scotland - having overturned in a misadventure - is hopefully to be put back on an even keel in a major salvage operation starting today. Whilst these efforts are being made to roll the shi...
Read full storyParis Hilton gets oiled and fisted by Kim Kardashian - but it's not what you think!
Paris Hilton got oiled just before being fisted by Kim Kardashian during their first encounter together after they spent a moment clintching each other and breathing hard. Kardashian reportedly stated that she was tired and had to take a rest afte...
Read full storyTop 10 retirement suggestions for Mayor Bloomberg
New York City - Michael Bloomberg is just weeks away from being forced out of office by an angry mob. (At least that's the way most envision his departure.) The mayor's forthcoming eviction raises the question: What's Mad Mike going to do with all of that free time he is going to have on his hands? Here are the top 10 suggestions: 1. Start by invading Poland. 2. Save a buck by doing...
Read full storyRed Sox on Verge of World (Series) Domination
The world may be ready for a Red Sox World Series. Yet, the world is always too much with us, according to wordsmith William Wordsworth. The Red Sox have swept a series with the Yankees in September during this strange season on the way to the pos...
Read full storyFunding Request Rocks da House, YO!
Some ten weeks ago, Dr. Astro Blasta (Ph.D., C2H5OH) proposed that NASA build a giant spaceship to send all of our planet's telemarketers to a distant world whose inhabitants might actually welcome them. President Barragh O'Bama encouraged Dr. B...
Read full storyA List of The Top 10 Vampire Movies of 2013
According To The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency of Chicago, Vampire motion pictures have just surpassed sci-fi movies, superhero movies, fantasy movies, and animated movies in terms of overall popularity. The film series The Twilight Saga, which starred Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner helped to popularize the vampire genre of films. Television shows about vampires helpe...
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