Tebow Throws a Reverse Nureyev & Dances Up a Storm

Written by Ossurworld

Monday, 16 September 2013

Someone should warn Tim Tebow that the Russians are coming!

Not since the old movie of the same name has there been such a frontal assault on everything as American as apple pie. And, the hot dog known as Tim Tebow is about as American as you can get.

A Russian football league has offered Tim $1million to play two games with them. This is more than Rudolf Nureyev was offered to dance with at the Mariinsky Theater after he defected. Of course, once you put on the tutu, you can't go back.

It sounds like a phone call offer from a boiler room in the basement of a fantasy league in St. Petersburg. Once in Mother Russia, Tebow may be held captive in a Moscow airport until he turns over the NFL files.

The Moscow Black Storm wants Tim for their storm-troopers. We suspect their league includes the Syrian team and probably the North Korean group. At least if Tim travels to North Korea, he will run into fellow American Dennis Rodman.

The Black Storm team is serious in their wooing of the Christian icon. The owner has spoken to Tebow personally and learned that his agents are the real problem. They believe Tebow's real talent is in proselytizing the unwary and the uncircumsized.

If Tebow is interested in going to Russia, he may want to look up Edward Snowden whose fantasy league includes a bunch of NFL castoffs.

Apparently the Russian league is about to hold the American Football Championship with a few turncoats, double agents, and expatriates. Bradley Manning, aka Chelsea, has volunteered to go with Tebow to Russia.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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