OMG, Bush Sr's Dead! tweets 'bewildered' Nelson Mandela
Midland, Texarse - "Some folks been making that assumption for years," a spokesperson for the George Bush Senior Foundation said as Mandela's tweet caused havoc on the blogosphere today, "probably just a rumor started by the Washington Toast." Non...
Read full storyPopular EDM concert "Electric Zoo" Cancelled, Ticket Holders Outraged
If you haven't heard by now the final day of the Electric Zoo (also referred to as "Ezoo") music festival was cancelled and many of the ticket holders are furious on social media. One of these ticket holders, Molly Rollins, gave us her take "I had...
Read full storyHeaney dead at 74
Crouching low at the foot of a hollow clearing, cored from the density of trees in our holding of forest, I know something lacks. Not the cool, insistent billow of breeze from the West, or the mousey rustle of dead leaves pooling around us. A shaft of late summer sun that lazily probes about the high branches, picks out an oval of scrub. A trace memory, a silhouette that says 'it was...
Read full storyScientists reveal complex mathematical formula for sadness
The elusive algebraic formula for a miserable life has at last been determined by a group of really fed-up researchers. The 'Feeling Crap Formula' (FCF) combines the most significant factors that make us sad, so that we can incorporate them into o...
Read full storySyrian Defensive Plan Leaked to Mossad; Snowden and Manning are Yesterday's News
Corporal Moammar Bin Traash, SIGINT analyst for the Syrian Army and co-founder of the Damascus Chapter of LGBT Alliance and nephew of Tariq Al Tabouli, owner of Hassan's Hookah and Hashish Kasbah leaked the complete defensive outline of the Syrian Ar...
Read full storyKris Jenner Devastated As FOX Axes Her Brand New Talk Show
HOLLYWOOD - Kris Jenner AKA Mama Kardashian is absoltuely devastated at the news that her brand new show Kris has been cancelled by the FOX Network after only six weeks. An inside source at the fair and balanced network, who did not want his fair...
Read full storyHarry Connick, Jr. Picked To Be The Third American Idol Judge
LOS ANGELES - The executives of American Idol had been bumping their rich heads trying to come up with a third judge to sit beside Keith Urban and Jennifer Lopez. Literally dozens of well known celebrities had turned them down including Will.i.am.
Read full storyTim Tebow Cut By The New England Patriots
FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts - Tim Tebow learned that he had been cut from the New England Patriots and he took it all in stride. He told Buckaroo Kazoo with The Turnstile Review that it's just business and like they say in Pittsburgh that's just the...
Read full storyRob Pattinson Confesses That Dumping Kristen Stewart Was The Best Thing He Ever Did
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Rob Pattinson recently stated that now that the Twight Saga series is over he feels like a big weight has been taken off of his shoulders. He spoke with Tahiti Zeppelin of Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres and told her that he felt like h...
Read full storyArizona's Fishcracker Sisters Look Exactly Like The Marx Brothers
PHOENIX - The Fishcracker sisters of Phoenix have always felt that they were kind of unique compared to other girls. The three sisters Dolly, 49; Lolly, 47; and Golly, 46; daughters of Silas and Polly Fishcracker noticed when they reached puberty...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Responds To The Foam Finger Criticism
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Miley Cyrus was certainly the talk of the 2013 MTV Music Video Awards Show. Cyrus pranced and danced on stage in what appeared to be intimate underwear. She twerked and jerked and made some vulgar gyrations that put her up ther...
Read full storyJohnny Depp Confesses That 'The Lone Ranger' Has Left Him Traumatized
SAN ANTONIO - Johnny Depp was in San Antonio visiting the world famous Alamo. As he walked around the hallowed grounds of the Texas shrine he was approached by a reporter with Silver Screen Showcase Magazine. Pomona Vox asked Depp if he had got...
Read full storyObama to Seek Approval from His Parents Before Syria Strike
WASHINGTON, DC - Barack Obama said on Saturday that he has decided the USA should launch cruise missiles against Syria, but in a move laden with political, emotional and diplomatic implications, he agreed in an about-face to request authorization for...
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