God Destroys Oregon After Michele Bachmann Moves There
OREGON (or, what is left of it)--God today, using one of his favorite forms of genocide, rained down on the state of Oregon fire and brimstone until everyone and everything in the state were irrevocably dead. The Bachmann family, including Marcus Ba...
Read full storyThe Bushes feared FBI's 'Vulcan mind meld' machine would unravel secrets of dead JFK's brain
Washington - More details have emerged about Bobby Kennedy's bizarre theft of his deceased brother's brain from an FBI autopsy slab in 1963 which recent reports have to the presence of an unmatched bullet buried deep inside the President's cerebral c...
Read full storyPaul Krugman, Happy Days Are Here to Stay!
In a recent op-ed in the NY Times, Mr. Krugman, the irrepressible orphan Annie of macro economics, decried his loneliness, surrounded as he is by lunatics who continue to warn of the disastrous effects of the mounting debt crisis. Mr. Krugman, in th...
Read full storyThe Spoof Unveils New Rating System
It's clear that the 'thumbs up' rating system is inadequate to the task. Giving less than a five is apt to hurt the feelings of a writer, but how can we express approval of a piece of writing with more subtlety than the hammer blow of 'five thumbs up'? How can we communicate a wry grin of approval, a chuckle of appreciation, a mad smirk of collusion? Here are some new symbols: 1) Three marti...
Read full storyUS planning Surgical Strikes on Angela Merkel's face
After their recent heroic depositions of evil tyrants Saddam Hussein and Colonel Gaddafi as well as Osama Bin Laden, our World Police Force are now turning their attention to the menacing spectre that is - Angela Merkel. The German 'Chancellor', o...
Read full storyCloned 17-Winged Chicken Will Feed the UK's and USA's Appetites
MANCHESTER - A chicken with 17 wings is more of an agricultural asset than a chicken with only two wings. No Jessica Simpson, Buffalo wings don't come from buffalos, they come from chickens and ravenous Americans can't seem to get enough of them.
Read full storySaudi Arabia to U.S. - Take This Once Upon Another Time International Love Thing And Shove It!
Riyadh - Saudi Arabia's more or less intelligence chief cook & bottle washer, Prince Roscoe Vasco Duhgama III, has said that his totally clueless/archaically ineffective kingdom - along with, of course, any uncharted territory of nearby unclaimed...
Read full storyHugh Hefner To Sell His Playboy Mansion
HOLMBY HILLS, California - Hugh Hefner, who is 87, has just announced that he plans to sell his California Playboy Mansion and build a new, bigger one in Denver, Colorado. The Playboy Magazine mogul told Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo that...
Read full storyPresident Obama Reveals He Lost $700 Betting On The Denver - Indianapolis Game
WASHINGTON, D.C. - It is no secret that President Obama enjoys betting on sporting events. He has never tried to hide the fact that he'll bet thousands of dollars on professional football, baseball, and basketball games. He quips that he does not...
Read full storyKhloe Kardashian Admits That She Was Attracted To Lamar Odom Simply Because He Was Taller Than Her
LOS ANGELES - Khloe Kardashian, who at 5-foot-10-inches, is the tallest of all the Kardashians recently confided to Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk about her initial infatuation with her husband NBA star Lamar Odom. She said that it was...
Read full storyVice-President Joe Biden Opens Up A Burger Diner
DOVER, Delaware - Vice-President Joe Biden proudly announced the opening of his brand new burger restaurant called Vice-President Biden's Burger Diner. The vice-president told Durango Tucker with National Focus Magazine that he has dreamed about o...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Wants To Buy Alaska's Atomic Bomb
JUNEAU, Alaska - Word about Alaska developing its first atomic bomb has gotten back to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. The leader of North Korea has reportedly expressed a desire to talk to the Alaskan governor about the possibility of purchasing...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Denies She's Fallen Off The Wagon
NEW YORK CITY - Lindsay Lohan and a group of her friends were seen partying at the Sing Sing Karoke Club in New York City. Lohan actually got up and sang the Dolly Parton song which was later covered by Whitney Houston, "I Will Always Love You."...
Read full storyNBA Fans To Be Prohibited From Yelling Out The Irritatingly Boring Phrase 'Deee-Fense'
NEW YORK CITY - The NBA after much consideration has decided that it will be prohibiting fans from hollering out the phrase "Deee-Fense!" whenever the opposing team gets the ball. An NBA spokesperson likened the yelling out of that phrase as kind...
Read full storyBlake Shelton Refuses To Get Into Rehab Because There's No Beer There
NASHVILLE - One of country music's biggest party hounds, Blake Shelton, has been told by several close friends that he really needs to get himself into rehab as his beer drinking is getting a little bit on the out-of-hand side. The 6-foot-5-inch t...
Read full storyMovie Studio Says Gay Superman Movie Will Not Fly
HOLLYWOOD - A representative with Universal Studios has said that his company will be pulling the movie Superman's Secret in which Superman is portrayed as being gay. The studio execs reportedly received thousands of emails, text messages, and pho...
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