James "Pimp" Lipton answers the 10 questions
Mr. Lipton.... 1. What is your favorite word? BLING 2. What is your least favorite word? Chlamydia 3. What turns you on? Pimpin' 4. What turns you off? Broke ass mofo's 5. What sound do you love? The crumple of felt against my hair when I put on my hat 6. What sound do you hate? A screaming ho' 7. What is your favorite curse word? All of them 8. What profession othe...
Read full storyAusterity stranglehold sees shadowy Bilderberg Group meet in crappy Brit town
Watford, Hertfordshire - A decidedly downmarket UK town once dubbed by Mahatma Gandhi as 'the arse-end of the universe' will be hosting this year's meeting of the smoke 'n' mirrors cabal known as the Bilderberg Group. Announcing the 6-9 June gathe...
Read full storyDennis is not a Menace
Les Dennis, he of Family Fortunes fame, has approached the police demanding to know why he has not been arrested as part of Operation Yew Tree. "This is an outrage," said Dennis. "All of the people I've worked with through the years have been arr...
Read full storyEvidence of stone age cross dressing found in a French cave
Archaeologists have uncovered what they believe to be the earliest example of cross dressing in a cave in Southern France. It is a find that they have dated back to thirty-five thousand years BC, smashing the four thousand BC record previously held b...
Read full story'Lick my backside!' as Thatcher Spitting Image puppet pic channels new Queen stamps
Isle of Dogs, London - An entire print run of commemorative second class stamps featuring a new painting of Queen Elizabeth may have to be consigned to the shredder following an eruption of public disgust. Commissioned** by Royal Mail the portrait...
Read full storyTebow and Gronk On the Road to Perdition
Two stars in the making seem to have fizzled out simultaneously. We have seen the supernova eaten by the black hole. They were extremes of philosophy in their sport just three years ago. Today they are examples of the washed up and out at a tender...
Read full storyJurors Agree Jodi Arias Is Too Hot For Death Penalty
Another case of, "Juries Gone Mad" the good citizens of the State vs Jodi Arias were, "dead" locked on the decision to put self admitted killer Jodi Arias to death. The Judge had no option but to call the penalty phase of the trial a mistrial.
Read full storyDon't cry for me Argentina, says Falklands
The Falklands has filed for an injunction after receiving numerous drunk-texts and inappropriate phone calls from Argentina, it has emerged. The Falkland Islands last night confirmed it sent a letter to the UN filing for a restraining order on Ar...
Read full storyBlackpool erect customs points
Blackpool, the ageless seaside town, has erected customs booths on all the roads into the town. "There are three major routes into the town," said Blackpool Community Chairperson, Tony Blackburn. "At each of these points, we are putting booths to...
Read full storyNASCAR'S Danica Patrick Apologizes For Crashing Into Her Boyfriend Ricky Stenhouse, Jr.
CONCORD, New Hampshire - Danica Patrick told the racing media that she is sorry about the incident at The Coca Cola 600, in which she crashed her car into the car driven by her boyfriend Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. She wanted everyone to know that she is...
Read full storyKirstie Alley and Melissa McCarthy To Star In "Liposuction - The Movie"
LOS ANGELES - TouchRock Films in association with Left Coast Libido Pictures has just announced that shooting will soon begin on Bandini Borrapelli's comedy Liposuction - The Movie. A spokesperson for TouchRock told Pia Confetti with Celebrity Glo...
Read full storyBruce Jenner Says He's At His Wit's End And May Leave Kris Jenner AKA Mama Kardashian
BEVERLY HILLS - Many celebrities in the Land of Tinsel Town say that Bruce Jenner truly has a cast iron stomach. They say that the husband of Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner has put up with more BS from the Kardashian gals than 99.9 percent of al...
Read full storyThe GOP Wants Sarah Palin To Stay The Hell Out Of The Lower 48!
CHICAGO - Political Salad Bar Magazine is reporting that members of the Republican Party have just about had their fill of Sarah "Snowflake" Palin. A GOP spokesperson identified as Sylvester "Kitty Kat" Katminovich, 68, stated that recent polls sh...
Read full storyManu Ginobili of The San Antonio Spurs Addresses The Presidential Rumors
SAN ANTONIO - Manu Ginobili is widely considered to be one of the most popular San Antonio Spurs players in the history of the storied NBA franchise. Ginobili, who was born and raised in Argentina, was recently interviewed by Buckaroo Kazoo with T...
Read full storyTom Cruise Reportedly Dating A Porn Star
CUCAMONGA - Tom Cruise attended a music concert featuring Hokey Pokey & The Okey Dokey Band at The Santa Ana Winds Arena in Cucamonga. After the concert he was interviewed by Calcutta Cotton with Music Moments Magazine. He was asked if he h...
Read full storyAdam Levine of The Voice May Have To Leave The Country After His "Oops Moment"
LOS ANGELES - In one of the worst foot-in-mouth instances to come along in a long, long time, Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine remarked while on the air that he hated this country. Levine made the statement after two of his singers (Judith Hill and S...
Read full storyCongress Tells The Washington Redskins Owner To Change The Team Name or Risk Being Arrested
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The owner of the Washington Redskins, Daniel "Danny Boy" Snyder, has been told hundreds of times that he needs to change his NFL's team name. Many organizations have told him that they consider the name Redskins to be highly off...
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