Disaster relief concerts now nation's most profitable industry
BOSTON, MA--According to a new study published by the Bureau of Economic Analysis this week, concerts held to benefit victims of tragedies are now the most profitable industry in the U.S. The report comes on the heels of the announcement of the "...
Read full storyElections: No Change!
Yet again the British electorate have opted for the traditional election routine! Some 70% registered their views with an equivocal silence. They did not vote! Our reporters scoured the country for the majority non-voters. Joe Soap explained hi...
Read full storySpoof News "God" Makes £350.75 A Week!
Universally regarded as one of the Internets funniest users, unnamed sources confirmed Friday that famed 45 year old Spoof News icon Bob Taylor, better known as "Nutbuster" by his throng of passionate and loyal fans, makes roughly £17,000 a year, an...
Read full storyNFL Blames Blames "Rooster Booster" For Player's Health Problems
BILLINGSGATE POST - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced today that that the NFL will fight the onslaught of player suits claiming that information regarding the effects of concussions on the brains of its players was deliberately withheld. La...
Read full storyMotor cars in UK getting bigger
The average size of a family motor car in Britain has increased by over 30 per cent during the first three months of this year, according to road surveys carried out by teams of weight watchers and nosey-parkers. In 2011 and 2012, the average car...
Read full storyChurchill Downs crop circle predicts Kentucky Derby 1-2-3
Louisville, KY - One of the year's first extraterrestrial field etchings has appeared overnight at the world famous racetrack's saddling enclosure ahead of Saturday's 139th renewal of the Kentucky Derby. Groundsmen said this morning they'd noticed...
Read full storySpice Girls show goes tits up
Spice Girls show "Viva Forever" has come to a close after producer, Judy Crayfish Revealed; "Theatre rules dictate there must be more people in the audience than on the stage for a show to continue. Despite locking all the doors, the bastards managed...
Read full storyMystery solved by anonymous person
London, England. In the most bizarre and astonishing news to break in history, a self employed sewage disposal worker has solved one of the the universe's most famous mysteries: why the earth rotates on its axis. The individual, who asked to remain n...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Shows Up At The Wrong Rehab Clinic
NEWPORT BEACH, California - Lindsay Lohan is without a doubt the luckiest female in the entire United States. The Hollywood Starbrat has committed all kinds of misdemeanors, automobile accidents, jewelry thefts, parole violations, and she still co...
Read full storyShaquille O'Neal Turns Down An Offer To Return To The Los Angeles Lakers
LOS ANGELES - Former Los Angeles Laker Shaquille O'Neal was in Tinsel Town on some business. He was asked by Sports Territory Magazine's Tango Brisket about the rumor that the Laker ownership has asked him to sign a one-year contract. O'Neal, who...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Is Now Down To The Final 3
LOS ANGELES - It was a sad day in the Holcomb family as Amber Holcomb became the latest contestant to be sent home. The Houston native, who has probably shed more tears since the days of Tatiana Del Toro, reportedly felt that one or two of the jud...
Read full storyWashington Nationals Fans Vow To Do Away With The Wave
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The management of the Major League Baseball Washington Nationals has been approached by a group calling itself The Anti-Wave Alliance. The alliance chairman Abner "Spitball" Dinkinbrewski, 27, told the Nationals organization tha...
Read full storyThe FBI Pays A Visit To An Idaho Potato Farmer of Interest
POCATELLO, Idaho - The United States Federal Bureau of Investigation has just paid a Pocatello, Idaho, resident a visit. It appears that the FBI was tipped off by a Pompous Pizza Parlor waitress that an unidentified man had been in the restaurant...
Read full storyPresident Obama Makes An NBA Bet With Jack Nicholson
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Jack Nicholson recently won a $100,000 bet when the Los Angeles Lakers managed to somehow limp into the NBA Western Conference playoffs. And now the star of Easy Rider, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, A Few Good Men and Oops...
Read full storyJay Leno Addresses The Divorce Rumors
BURBANK - Jay Leno has not exactly been himself lately. And who can blame him since he knows that he is being unceremoniously dumped by the suits at the Peacock Network. Leno has become very good at hiding his true feelings, but his hair stylist F...
Read full storyArkansas Bans The TV Series Hannibal
LITTLE ROCK - The Mads "Madman" Mikkelsen series Hannibal has already been banned in Arkansas. The entertainment news agency iRumors reports that the Arkansas State Senate deemed that the show is positively inappropriate for viewing by any of Arka...
Read full storyTim Tebow Confident Some NFL Team Will Pick Him Up
MIAMI - Recently released quarterback Tim Tebow was in Miami checking out an orange grove that he is thinking about buying. He was asked if he had any ill-feelings towards the New York Jets organization for treating him the way that they did. T...
Read full storyPorpoise Switches His Tracking Device to Randy Researcher
After caring for an ailing porpoise for six months, researchers in Long Island recently released Noodle (yep, that's his name) back to the ocean, but not before they tagged him with a tracking device so that they can follow him and report his whereab...
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