Viewers shocked at close-up of Obama's blackheads
Washington DC - US President Barack Obama has shocked British TV viewers after revealing much of his face is pitted with blackheads. Speaking to White House reporters during a meeting with UK Prime Minister David Cameron the President displayed a...
Read full storyDisgraced Cardinal sentenced to full Bell Book N Candle exorcism
The Gorbals, Glasgow - Demoted in the ranks for gross misconduct the former Primate of Scotland has been ordered into exile from his Scottish stamping ground for processing and re-assimilation at a Vatican exorcism. Ex-Cardinal Keith O'Brien will...
Read full story'CIA has played a counter-intelligence blinder' says Mossad bureau chief
Pyongyang - The arrest of alleged CIA spy Ryan Fogle in a Moscow sting op has seen Mossad's top North Korea desk intelligence officer piss herself with laughter at the ploy. "Some audacity of dope, eh?" Commander Ziva Davide [no relation] chuckle...
Read full storyESPN's Stephen A. Smith to debate all Twitter followers
Citing his passion for debate, flare for commentary and overarching desire to make others feel mentally dominated, ESPN sports anchor Stephen A. Smith has announced plans to debate each of his followers on Twitter. The event, which Smith has dubbe...
Read full storyPaper Plane's Protracted Problems Persist
The new Boing Night-Terrors airliner continues to be plagued by major technical faults. One was diverted to Denver International for an emergency landing yesterday. A fire in the tail section was the cause this time. Terrified passengers escaped from...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars Says So Long To Soap Opera Star Ingo Rademacher
HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars is now down to 4 celebrity contestants as soap opera star Ingo Rademacher was voted off the show. Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli said that he really hated to see the hunky actor go. Rademacher and his dance pa...
Read full storyTiger Woods Ex-Wife Elin Nordegren Disses The Golf Gigolo
LA BREA - Close friends of Elin Nordegren have said that the Swedish beauty is still quite upset at ex-husband Tiger Woods. Elin, who was having dinner alone at the La Brea Tar Pits Diner, feels that she was led to believe by her former philanderi...
Read full storyThe Unbelievable Mississippi Catfish
PASCAGOULA, Mississippi - Long time Mississippi Game Warden Jefferson Jackson Boothbarker reported that a local fisherman identified as Tibideaux "Tibby" Figginfaust has just caught one of the most amazing catfish in the history of catfish catching.
Read full storyJustin Bieber Named America's Most Confused Celebrity
KALAMAZOO, Michigan - The highly reputable Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company which is headquartered in Kalamazoo, Michigan, has just named its 2013 Most Confused Celebrity. And this year's winner is Justin Bieber, who barely beat out Lindsay Lo...
Read full storyBritney Spears Opens Up About X-Factor and Jason Trawick
TARZANA - Britney Spears took her kids to visit the famed Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo. She was accompanied by a close friend Tallulah Tennyschultz, who is a fingernail polish model. Spears was asked by Margarita Mixx with The Tinsel Town Times T...
Read full storyThe Gambling Gynecologist and The Sound of Money
MILWAUKEE - Local gynecologist Dr. Wilmer Wigglemeister has practiced in Milwaukee for the past 19 years. But lately he had noticed a drop in the number of patients he was seeing. He talked to fellow local gynecologists and learned that their b...
Read full storyPresident Obama Says That Mexico Has Asked To Borrow $3 Million So They Can Continue With Their Moon Exploration Program
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama announced that he had received a text message from Mexico's President Nacho Winslow asking to borrow $3 million. President Winslow stated that his country needs the funds in order to continue with their moon shot...
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