Paper Plane's Protracted Problems Persist

Funny story written by David Grant

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

image for Paper Plane's Protracted Problems Persist
Head Designer's First Prototype Model

The new Boing Night-Terrors airliner continues to be plagued by major technical faults. One was diverted to Denver International for an emergency landing yesterday. A fire in the tail section was the cause this time. Terrified passengers escaped from the revolutionary composite papier mache aircraft by punching holes in the fuselage.

This is just another in a long line of accidents and mishaps that began in the design and early manufacturing stages of the project:

  • January 2007 - August 2010, There was a three year delay caused by computer designers holding a Tetris tournament in work time.
  • September 2010 - a worker's arm is severed in a paper cut.
  • October 2010 - another worker dies while reading the sports column of the magazine that he was molding into the control surfaces. Unfortunately he is now part of the right aileron on the first prototype.
  • February 2011 - the first test pilot dies when he drops a cup of coffee and falls through the resulting soggy cockpit floor.

 I managed to interview a married couple on the flight. Mr and Mrs Kneewobbler were extremely forthcoming in their answers to my questions.

I asked them that even with the problems they had personally experienced, whether they still think that the Night-Terrors airliner has taken aviation to a new level.

"Uh huh, well frankly, I just wish it had taken us to Chicago." replied Mr Kneewobbler.

I then asked them if, with all things taken into consideration, they think that it is still a game-changer.

Mrs Kneewobbler remarked, "It's certainly an underwear-changer."

Boing is putting on a brave face amid the ridicule heaped upon their new pride and joy. One of the latest problems that they have encountered is that it seems impossible for the plane to descend in a headwind of more than forty knots due to its lightweight construction.

The final words go to Boing's Chief Designer, "At least it's not as bad as the Dreamliner," he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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