The Unbelievable Mississippi Catfish

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

image for The Unbelievable Mississippi Catfish
Mississippi fisherman Jefferson Jackson Figginfaust chewing on a minnow.

PASCAGOULA, Mississippi - Long time Mississippi Game Warden Jefferson Jackson Boothbarker reported that a local fisherman identified as Tibideaux "Tibby" Figginfaust has just caught one of the most amazing catfish in the history of catfish catching.

Figginfaust, who listed his employment as a cotton gin security guard, told Boothbarker that he caught the catfish in the General Stonewall Jackson Bayou.

When Boothbarker examined the fish which Figginfaust had placed in a wash tub he noticed that it did not look like your normal run-of-the-mill catfish.

This specimen had sky blue eyes and had what appeared to be neatly trimmed whiskers.

Figginfaust said that when he had the catfish on the line he clocked it as doing 92 miles per hour.

He then said that when he finally landed the fish and put it on land the silly catfish seemed to sprout four little pencil eraser size feet and began walking.

Tibby told the game warden that the fish, which he named Superfish even flew for a distance of seven feet.

And then he told the warden that he was not going to believe him but he actually heard Superfish count from 1 to 3 in broken English.

Boothbarker asked Figginfaust if he had been drinking.

"Nosa" came the reply, "I jest had me a bottle or two of dat blue colored Gatorade but das all."

SIDENOTE: Game Warden Boothbarker called up Sea World in San Antonio and a representative will be flying out to Pascagoula to see about possibly purchasing the amazing catfish.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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