Obama No Longer Considered America's First African American President
President Barrack H. Obama has just been stripped of his designation as the first African-American president, according to the Dissociated Press (DP). A little known politician from Illinois, Hawaii, Indonesia, and Kenya, Obama ascended mercuriall...
Read full storyVick accused of cheating in race with McCoy
LeSean McCoy in a taped interview after a recent Eagles scrimmage, stated that Michael Vick, the oft maligned quarterback with the oft maligned Philadelphia Eagles, did, in fact, put Krazy Glue on his running shoes just before the race. "I had on...
Read full storyDerek Acorah arrested as part of operation Yo-Yo
Operation Yo-Yo, the second phase of the police's inspection of famous people's previous indiscretions has uncovered two previous indiscretions by world famous psychic and generally well groomed Scouser, Derek Acorah. "We have discovered that duri...
Read full storyFart Farms: Rural North Carolina alternative energy initiative!
"An ill wind that blows no good," states The Raleigh News & Observer in todays morning edition reporting the following event: Approximately two hundred demonstrators gathered on the steps of the State Capitol building this morning to demonstra...
Read full storyStar Trek's omnipotent being 'Q' is running secret world government Obama tells Cameron
Washington AC/DC - "Dave, there's absolutely nothing we can do," the President told a bewildered-looking Brit Prime Monster who'd been brought up to believe that it's The Borg who's in charge. "Q's got us over a barrel of sweet light crude," the p...
Read full storyRooney Retires!
Wayne Rooney has hungs his boots on the nail and hammered them into his coffin, he's retiring! Dear Wayne has had enough of training, playing, sweating, taking the piss out of United fans literally, and earning 250.000,00 quid a week plus sponsor bon...
Read full storyCruz leaves one church for another
Little known bit-part actor Tom Cruz, it was learned today, has given up Scientology, and has spent two weeks in Salt Lake City in prayer and meditation, and is going on a two year mission, for the Mormon Church in Detroit, Michigan. His partner in D...
Read full storyRed Sox Suffer from Junk DNA
Before you get your knickers in a twist, we will not expose the Red Sox junk this time. Science has just learned that the Boston baseball team has over 98% of useless DNA. Most teams like the Yankees have cut their useless DNA to a minimum, but th...
Read full storyBoston Bruins: Cinderfellas with Glass Skates
Like Cinderella at the Ball, the Boston Bruins have lost their glass slipper, and slipped on their fat ass. Some fans might say the Bruins were never ready to meet Prince Charming's Stanley Cup after this dropped puck at the ball. If misery likes...
Read full storyAnn Coulter Says The GOP Has To Embrace Hip Hop Music
BOISE, Idaho - Ann Coulter was in town speaking at the Mashed Potatoes Arena before a group of frustrated Republicans who hate the mess that Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, and especially Sarah Palin have put the GOP in. The Republican maven was asked wha...
Read full storyNASCAR'S Danica Patrick Addresses The Derek Hough Romance Rumors
TARZANA, California - Now that Danica Patrick's divorce is finally finalized, it is no secret that the race car driver is being hit on by guys not only in the auto racing business but in every aspect of the entertainment industry as well. NASCAR e...
Read full storyPamela Anderson and Jennifer Aniston To Star In The Attack of The Vampire Cicadas
HOLLYWOOD - Tri-Moon Pictures in association with Pipe Dream Films has announced that filming has started on the Luigi Luigiani motion picture The Attack of The Vampire Cicadas. The film is based on the Hyacinth Cynthia Barbuckle novel titled What...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Says She Misses Rob Pattinson's Sexual Verbalizing
VENICE BEACH - Kristen Stewart the star of The Twilight Saga series was in Venice Beach shopping for a new pair of sunglasses. She was asked if she has gotten over being dumped by her ex-boyfriend fellow Twilight Saga star Rob Pattinson. Stewar...
Read full storyThe NBA Is Proposing A 5-Point Shot For Next Season
NEW YORK CITY - The NBA is currently working on a new play that it feels will truly help generate a bit more excitement in the game. NBA Commissioner David "Short Cake" Stern told members of the sports media that had gathered at The Mrs. Bill Clin...
Read full storyJoan Rivers Thrown Out of Anger Management Classes For Being Too Angry
NEW YORK CITY - Joan Rivers AKA The Queen of Mean has just revealed a startling fact. The 79-year-old told Sangria Wine with TV ClickerWorld that back in March she was thrown out of an anger management class due to the fact that her instructor sai...
Read full storyRihanna Finally Admits She Hates Chris Brown
DETROIT - Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that it appears that Rihanna has finally come to her senses. The Caribbean singer confided to Carolina Chipotle with BPT that she has realized that her infatuation with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown is over.
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