The Miley Cyrus - Liam Hemsworth Engagement Is Kaput!
MARINA DEL REY, California - Word out of the Left Coast is that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have decided to end their engagement. According to Bedroom Pillow Talk the decision was made over the phone since Hemsworth has been down in his native...
Read full storyUS cardinals prepare for Bush/Gore 2000-style election standoff
Rome - Pungent early whiffs of a hung Conclave have seen America's thirteen cardinals secretly hire heavyweight lawyers for their respective corners amid fears of a Vatican dirty tricks department coup. A hanging chad scenario of dodgy ballot pape...
Read full storyTina Fey To Write A Song About Taylor Swift
HOLLYWOOD - Amy Poehler apologized to Taylor Swift. Tina Fey says that Kirstie Alley will stop eating cake, pie, and burgers before she apologizes to T-Swizzle. Swift, 23, is still fuming about having Fey and Poehler gang up on her during the rece...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Collapses After Tripping On The Crotch of His Pants
LONDON - Well there is good news and bad news from Camp Biebs. The good news is that he showed up on time for his concert at London's O2 Arena. The bad news is that while he was jumping around all over the stage he got tangled up and tripped on th...
Read full storyParasites on Parade
The latest report from our weeki leeks correspondent, the mole in royal circles. When asked about his contribution to comic relief, William (playboy) Windsor replied in jocular fashion. "I wiped my arse on last weeks Beano." Apparently he still has it delivered every week along with the Dandy and to think that someday he might have the top job. Let us hope that he doesn't have the dreaded royal...
Read full storyScientists find 'proof' of 15 million years of non evolution!
Russian scientists have drilled through layers of antarctic ice and taken samples from a lake believed to be - by them - 15 million years old. On analysis, these new lifeforms remain as bacteria, rather than growing limbs, heads, breasts, eyes, no...
Read full storyKim Jong-Un promises not to destroy America until after March Madness
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA--Kim Jong-Un, supreme leader of North Korea, announced today that his government would launch pre-emptive nuclear war upon the United States, but added that the country will be spared until the conclusion of March Madness.
Read full storyCan Katy Perry Lite Myanmar Firework With A Smile
Naypyidaw - Charismatic Myanmar President Thein Sein who is currently on a European tour could be critical to resolving the nuclear crisis emerging on the Korean Peninsula says American singer Katy Perry. On Thursday Pyongyang issued a warning to...
Read full storyThe List of 10 Little Known Facts About Michelle Obama AKA The First Mama
Michelle Obama has repeatedly stated that she has no aspirations, urges, needs, or desires to ever go into politics. She has made it abundantly clear, after having talked at great length with Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and even GOPette Condoleezza Rice and hearing all about the behind-the-scenes happenings. Mrs. Obama has said that she wants to eventually head up her very own law firm a...
Read full storyDennis Rodman Rejects Ann Coulter's Overtures
TRENTON, New Jersey - Dennis Rodman traveled to Trenton to visit his high school home economics teacher Mrs. Ekatina St. Cheddar. Rodman, who made world wide news by visiting North Korea and hanging out with that country's leader Kim Jong Un, said...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan To Star In Their Own Reality Show "Charlie & Lilo - Doing The Hokey Pokey"
LOS ANGELES - Charlie Sheen gave up making $1.8 million a week simply acting as himself on the hit sit-com Two and A Half Men to become a Space Cadet with two funky looking goddesses. The goddesses long ago hit the Tinsel Town trail and left Charl...
Read full storyArizona Prohibits The Goodyear Blimps From Entering The State
PHOENIX - In a move that has totally shocked the owners of the Goodyear Blimps, Arizona has informed them that the state will no longer allow the blimps to enter into the state to televise shots of football stadiums, baseball stadiums, and basketball...
Read full storySexy Selena Gomez Flirting Up A Storm
ENCINO, California - Selena Gomez is certainly not wasting any time pouting over her ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber. The 20-year-old singer was seen at an Encino mall and she was openly flirting with several store employees. Gomez commented that on...
Read full storyDoctors Optimistic About Man's Reattachment Surgery Following Tragic Waxing Accident
Louie Toon said he just wanted to get "groomed up" to surprise his girlfriend, but now the 27-year-old man is facing major reattachment surgery following a tragic accident while undergoing a Brazilian waxing treatment. "The first time they rippe...
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