Good week for the Biebs: racing, spitting, and transporting monkey
MUNICH, Germany - All good things come in threes. So goes the saying, both in English and German, and the Biebs would have to agree. First, the cops were called because he was racing around his neighborhood in his new Ferrari. Then he spat upon a...
Read full storyLeBlob James Jams the NBA Publicity Machine
Crybaby LeBron has returned like the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. You cannot keep a perennial from blooming when the season comes around. After a season when the media has fallen in line with the NBA line, LeBron has been turned into Michael...
Read full storyBenedict Excommunicates Pope Francis
Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has announced from the balcony of Castel Gandolfo the excommunication of Pope Francis. The announcement occurred on Holy Saturday and it was followed by the mandate that the newly-installed Pontiff vacate the Vatican S...
Read full storyBoston Will Limit Its Soft Drink Cups To 6 Ounces
BOSTON - The Boston City Council has just passed a city bill which will limit the size of soft drink cups to just 6 ounces. Councilwoman Harriet S. Dilleyweiser, 59, stated that the vote was 9 to 4 in favor of going to the smaller drinking cup.
Read full storySports Territory Magazine Chooses Kate Gosselin As The Nation's #1 MILF
NEW YORK CITY - Sports Territory Magazine has just named Kate Gosselin of Reading, Pennsylvania as the number one MILF in the entire United States. Kate, who turned 38, on Thursday March 28, beat out a total of 17,163 other moms from all over the...
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Has Just Made Tony Romo One Very, Very, Rich Cowpoke
DALLAS - Jerry Jones, who is the owner. president, and general manager of the once awesome Dallas Cowboys, has just forked over a whole passel of dough, as they say over in Fort Worth, to his quarterback Tony Romo. King Jerry I, has just given Ton...
Read full storyA Return To Australian Animals From HELL!!!
This is the second in a series of two wonderful articles about horrible, vicious, dangerous, hideous, disgusting Australian animals that for some reason contain no mention of Rupert Murdoch. (Note to reader, this article does not contain information about horrible, vicious Australians, although many consider them to be in the category of animals as well. I will cover them in a third article later)...
Read full storyThe Absolute Worst Cloning Experiment In History
FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - The Dry Heat Scientific Research Center located in Flagstaff announced on March 28, that it had just successfully cloned the first skunk in the history of civilized cloning. Dr. Holland Hildegarde Taffytree, 58, director of th...
Read full storyGisele Bundchen Agrees To Drop Her Dancing With The Stars Lawsuit
NEW YORK CITY - Gisele Bundchen recently filed a lawsuit against the producers of Dancing With The Stars. The lawsuit stemmed from the fact she had been promised that she was going to be a celebrity contestant on this season's edition. But at...
Read full storyKobe Bryant Bitten By The Dreaded Laker Injury Bug
LOS ANGELES - As movie star Slim Pickens once said in the epic Western satire Blazing Saddles, "What in the wide, wide, world of sports is goin' on here?" Boom! The dreaded Laker injury bug has just struck again and this time it has bitten Laker s...
Read full storyJulianne Hough's Shocking Voodoo Hex Revelation
HOLLYWOOD - The former Dancing With The Stars dancer, Julianne Hough is still extremely upset at the breakup of her two year relationship with American Idol host Ryan Seacrest. Julianne, who is the younger sister of DWTS dancer Derek Hough told Gl...
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