Benedict Excommunicates Pope Francis

Written by PP Rega

Saturday, 30 March 2013

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Nobody is going to kick me out without a fight. I'm German after all!

Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has announced from the balcony of Castel Gandolfo the excommunication of Pope Francis.

The announcement occurred on Holy Saturday and it was followed by the mandate that the newly-installed Pontiff vacate the Vatican State immediately and "...get his Holy Butt back to Argentina."

According to sources inside Castel Gandolfo, Benedict was upset that he received an eviction notice and was accused of a gluttonous life-style all at Papal expense.

Meanwhile, back at the Vatican, Francis, while still disinfecting his hands after cleaning the criminals' feet on Holy Thursday, was heard to order the mobilization of the Swiss Guard.

It is believed that the new Pontiff plans to lead the Vatican troops into the Roman countryside and lay seige to Castel Gandolfo.

Military experts believe that Benedict will not be able to resist the onslaught since all he has at his command are an 85-year-old cook, a 68-year-old gardiner, and 5 goats.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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