Michael Douglas wins Eastleigh By-Election
"I'm the MP for Eastleigh!" "No, I'm the MP for Eastleigh!" - Hollywood star wins historic victory Holywood star, Michael Douglas, has become the surprise winner of the Eastleigh Byelection. Full name, Michael Douglas Thorton, is best known for...
Read full storyMobile Game Developer Can Upgrade From 'Lite' to Full Defense in Lawsuit, Says Supreme Court.
In a bold and self-congratulatory move, a group of mobile gaming enthusiasts have sued Novio, the developer of the Angry Fowl series, for $50 million dollars, according to papers filed in New York Federal Court today. According to the suit, Novio...
Read full storyAnd the winner is...
With awards season in full swing, all eyes we're on the Borchester Hotel in London's glittering West End this week as the A-list to end all A-lists arrived to pay tribute to those entertainment luminaries who really make a difference to our lives.
Read full storyEx-Cardinal Keith O'Brien checks in to exorcism boot camp
John o'Groats - Scotland's former primate is donning a hairshirt at a secluded rehab for penitent old Catlicks. The retreat is famous for its self-debriefing therapies that let penitents talk themselves out of x-rated stuff deemed too gross for th...
Read full storyNational Rat Association Wants To Disassociate Itself From NRA
The National Rat Association, an organization created and run by the rat population of the United States of America, is doing a big publicity campaign to disassociate itself from the notorious National Rifle Association who share the same abbreviated...
Read full storySurvivor of Siamese twins joins parents
A Harley Street surgeon has made history by joining his parents' hands together in a unique operation. Dr Jason Perrglew was originally one of a pair of Siamese twins born in 1973. They were joined at the head, but had to be separated when they we...
Read full storyCardinals pick Satan to be next Pope
St. Louis - Matt Holiday of the Cardinals announced today that the Cardinals have picked Satan to be the new Pope. While there are no good Catholics on the team, many are well versed in the ways of the Vatican. "We feel Satan best represents the...
Read full storyMother's Day comet returns after 110,000 years
Europe - Revered by the ancients as an omen of catastrophe Comet 2011 L4 Panstarrs will be nearing perihelion over British skies on Mothering Sunday next week. Its flight path is being videoed from the International Space Station which monitors an...
Read full storyRocky Marciano Stripped of His Title by Mass. Bureaucrats
The greatest Rocky in history, the original Rocky, was Mr. Marciano, an undefeated heavyweight-boxing champion. Last year the World Boxing Association donated a 22-foot statue to the city of Brockton, Mass., birthplace of Rocky. When the city a...
Read full storyJoe Flacco's Salary Enters the Van Allen Belt
Scientists discovered Joe Flacco's contract details in the new third radiation belt around Earth. Baltimore Ravens quarterback and Super Bowl winner Joe Flacco has gone into outer space with his new high water mark in payroll. His salary is out of...
Read full storyBangladesh riots cause misery; as if they haven't got enough!
Rioters in Bangladesh are causing much misery, death and destruction just to add to the "normal" misery that their people must suffer on a daily basis. The rioters are up-in-arms about a death sentence given to a citizen claiming it was politicall...
Read full storyLeno announces comeback date
Shortly after announcing that he will retire in 2014 Jay Leno announced that in January 2015 he will come back and whine to the press so much that NBC will sack his replacement Jimmy Fallon and give him back the 'Tonight' show for a third stint.
Read full storyPope Hated to Leave Behind His Red Shoes and Their Magical Powers
According to our exclusive Vatican sources, the Pope had no problem at all leaving the Vatican and the Papacy. The real issue? Having to leave behind his red shoes. You see, those glorious red shoes had provided the Pontiff with special powers...
Read full storyHomeland Security Releases 5,000 Illegal Immigrants Due To Budget Cuts
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The secretary of The Department of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano has verified that 5,000 illegal aliens that were being incarcerated in California, Georgia, Maine, and Texas have been released due to federal budget cuts. S...
Read full storyJack Nicholson Makes a $100,000 Bet That The Lakers Will Make The Playoffs
LOS ANGELES - The all-time number one Los Angeles Lakers fan Jack Nicholson is finally smiling again. Fresh from appearing at the Academy Award Show and hitting on the winner of the Best Actress Award 22-year-old Jennifer Lawrence, or J-Law, as Ry...
Read full storyEngland's Burrito Bell's Introduces The Silver Saddle Supreme
LONDON - Britain's prestigious consumer watchdog agency known as BBB for Britain's Burger Bureau has just released a news bulletin stating that traces of horse DNA have now been found in some of Burrito Bell's menu items. A representative for Engl...
Read full storyNASCAR's Dale Earnhardt Jr. Calls Jeremy Clements a Punk For Using The N-Word
AVONDALE, Arizona - Popular NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, Jr. has just criticized fellow race car driver Jeremy Clements for his use of the N-word. Clements, was being interviewed by a reporter for Afro Sheen Magazine when, he inadvertently blurte...
Read full storyIt Looks Like Leno's Leaving The Tonight Show
LOS ANGELES - The word has slipped out and there is lots of rejoicing in Talk Show Host Land. TV ClickerWorld is reporting that NBC does not plan to renew Jay Leno's contract once it expires in September of 2014. An NBC spokesperson, Crestwood...
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