Divorced Vlad The Impaler Putin 'has a rhythmic gymnast gentleman friend'
Bloodyvostock - "Think the Incredible Hulk in Alina Kabaeva's body," is how one Kremlin insider put it this morning, "a male rhythmic gymnast so supple and contortable it's a wonder all that spangly lycra never bursts during, er, workouts." The an...
Read full storyDid Philip Eat From Wrong Bucket At Palace Garden Party?
The Duke of Edinburgh is 'progressing satisfactorily' tonight after undergoing an exploratory operation on his abdomen performed by royal surgeon, Dr Gregory Rasputin. The results are being analysed by laboratory scientists though are expected to con...
Read full storyColt McCoy saddened to see "Look for Colt McCoy to have a monster season" article subtitled "And 10 other predictions nobody will ever make about the 2013 N.F.L. season."
SAN FRANCISCO, CA--49ers backup quarterback Colt McCoy was disappointed to discover an article on Bleacher Report entitled "Look for Colt McCoy to have a monster season" contained the sub-headline "And 10 other predictions nobody will ever make a...
Read full storyOSU positions consolidated
In a startling announcement today, the Board of Regents at The Ohio State University announced that since Don Imus had turned down the offer to take over as University President, they have unanimously agreed that since football is the cornerstone of...
Read full storyWalmart adding casinos and brothels?
An undisclosed source revealed today that the world's largest retailer, Walmart, is in the process, and making plans to place Mini-casinos in all of their Super stores. Joe Conforte, ex Nevada brothel owner has been approached at his South Americ...
Read full storyVatican Official Claims to Have Exorcised 160K Demons: Demons File Class Action Suit
Fr. Gabriel Amorth, The Head of International Association of Exorcists which is a Vatican sanctioned organization has recently made the claim that he has rid the world of 160,000 demons and sent them back to Hell. Fr. Amorth was one of the exorcists...
Read full storyReligious Tolerance Advocates to WBC: Psychological Terrorism Is Not Free Speech
TOPEKA, KANSAS (Acme Quicknews) -- Who can say that the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) can't taste their own dose of picket? Religious tolerance advocates around America, composing of members of different religions, counter the ways of the WBC by p...
Read full storyObama To Call For Special Daylight Savings Adjustment
President Barack Obama announced yesterday that in order to decrease dependence on foreign oil, he would be calling for a two hour adjustment to clocks in the United States. According to sources close to the White House, this is expected to save an...
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