
The Declaration of Independence Rewritten by the Tea Party
Although the more momentous voting on the Declaration of Independence occurred on July 2, this revered document was signed and officially adopted on July 4, which we now proudly celebrate as Independence Day (although John Adams preferred July 2). What follows is a rewrite of the Declaration of Independence, as conceived of by the Tea Party, had the Founding Fathers known as much about their ow...
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Air Force One Reports Massive Groundings and Snafus Including "Snow Job"
We now know President Evo Morales of Bolivia was not the only one in transit difficulty yesterday over possible connection to whistleblower Edward Snowden. To review, Mr. Morales' problems started after he indicated Bolivia might grant asylum to S...
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Why Paula Deen Can't Just Add Butter This Time
The billion-dollar empire of Paula Deen, the butter queen of gastronomic consumption, is collapsing like an undone soufflé, or a door slammed soufflé, or a pin popped soufflé, and adding butter can't help. Companies are dropping Ms. Deen like a hot p...
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Queen snubs July 4 festivities as Statue of Liberty crop circle sprouts on Palace lawn
Scotland - An Independence Day crop circle of Lady Liberty has popped up overnight on Holyrood Palace lawns where the Queen is holed up during her annual Scottish Week stay. Flunkies nearly busted a gut raking over the 250ft turf etching that's sp...
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Ryan Seacrest Has Found Himself A Stunning New Girlfriend Who Simply Oozes Feminine Sexuality
LOS ANGELES - Ryan Seacrest the host of American Idol is one happy as hell Georgia peach these days. "Peaches" Seacrest as he was nicknamed by Paula "Touchdown" Abdul, told Fuchsia Garfunkel with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle that he hasn't fe...
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Donald Trump Says Alec Baldwin Needs To Grow Up and Do Something About His Silly-Looking Hair
NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump loves to get involved in other people's business. President Obama has stated on several occasions that the Trumpster does it because he just has way too much free time on his hands. Trump remarked that the president is...
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The Aaron Hernandez Bobblehead Dolls - The Good News and The Bad News
CHICAGO - The Hasbroken Toy Company that manufactures the Aaron Hernandez Bobblehead Doll has just made an announcement regarding the ex-New England Patriots player. Company spokesperson, Zandreeka LaSheena Lovecake, 29, said that they will be rec...
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Stacy Keibler The Latest Sexy Celebrity To Make The Upskirt Gallery
HOLLYWOOD - Stacy Keibler has made it quite clear to boyfriend George Clooney that she wants to walk down the aisle and become Mrs. George Clooney before the end of the year. Clooney, who has been a bachelor longer than David Crosby has been overw...
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Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus Spotted At The Encino Reservoir Engaged in Some Hanky Panky
ENCINO - An unnamed source informed iRumors that he and his English teacher were parked out at the Encino Reservoir reviewing for an English test when they looked over and happened to see Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber in the next car. The unnamed...
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Utah church member proposes changes
Mormons believe that many people have died without receiving a valid baptism, and they cannot undergo this precious ritual as mere spirits. "Because all on the earth do not have the opportunity to accept the gospel during mortality, the Lord has auth...
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