Air Force One Reports Massive Groundings and Snafus Including "Snow Job"

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

image for Air Force One Reports Massive Groundings and Snafus Including "Snow Job"
Plans to Locate Surveillance Technology on Mars Temporarily on Hold

We now know President Evo Morales of Bolivia was not the only one in transit difficulty yesterday over possible connection to whistleblower Edward Snowden.

To review, Mr. Morales' problems started after he indicated Bolivia might grant asylum to Snowden and joked he was on his way to meet Snowden.

His subsequent return flight to Bolivia was interrupted by denials to fly through the air spaces of Portugal, France, and Italy.

His airliner was then searched in Austria, and Mr. Morales detained for thirteen hours.

Previously unreported, all over the globe yesterday flights were delayed, re-routed, grounded, and searched while Mr. Snowden remained ensconced and solitary at Sheremetyeov Airport in Moscow.

Civilian, military, and even Air Force One flights experienced difficulties, due to the frequency of "snow," "den," "blizzard," "snow job," "snowball," "snowball's chance in hell" and other such terms appearing on passengers' laptops and spoken out loud in exchanges on airliners.

The nature of spying equipment installed by the NSA within the bodies of large aircraft used commercially and militarily by countries throughout the world is not known so far (except perhaps by Mr. Snowden).

At least 100 flights from the airliners of such nations as Canada, Switzerland, France, Germany, Austria, Portugal, Mexico, and Australia, as well as Bolivia, have experienced groundings, searches, and delays due to the sensitivity of NSA spying equipment honing in on the snow-related key words.

Least likely to surface in mainstream news is that the President of the United States himself suffered the indignity of Air Force One being forced down, delayed, and searched by Vatican City, the world's smallest country.

Apparently while in flight Mr. Obama had just been talking about the need for the right kind of "snow job" to respond to European officials who have expressed "outrage" over NSA spying in their countries.

The Leader of Vatican City, recently appointed Pope Francis, ordered the grounding of Air Force One into Vatican City International Airport after Vatican City NSA-affiliates picked up suspicious activity within the President's airliner.

Pope Francis maintained his decision was based on "diplomatic agreements with the US State Department whenever suspicion of terrorist activity presented itself."

It is ironic, perhaps, that the POTUS' own use of language, within what is essentially his own private jet, accidentally brought about the temporary arrest of Air Force One.

A sixteen hour delay at Vatican City caused the President to be late for a round-table discussion at the Pentagon with Director of National Intelligence Mr. James Clapper and others under the topic "Truth Is A Delicate Organism In a State of Flux."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more