Utah church member proposes changes

Funny story written by Spicewood

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

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Changes in the wind

Mormons believe that many people have died without receiving a valid baptism, and they cannot undergo this precious ritual as mere spirits. "Because all on the earth do not have the opportunity to accept the gospel during mortality, the Lord has authorized baptisms performed by proxy for the dead.

Elder Joseph Peterson of Provo, Utah, who owns "questionable" properties and businesses in Nevada, has indicated that in light of recent legislation passed in this country and an acceptance of once hidden morays, that he will introduce a motion to the church Elders in Salt Lake City that will allow deceased Mormons who had not heretofore done so, to "come out" in the afterlife, and admit their sexual preferences.

"The gay community that has passed on, if there is one in the church, should have the same privilege to spend eternity with their partner of choice. If "they" legally can unite in life, now, then who are we to say that if they did not have this opportunity while on earth, to do so for their journey through eternity."

He admits his proposal may not be well received by his peers, and that his being excommunicated from the church is a possibility, but he admitted that he has his "pleasure ranch" in Elko and a few other "businesses" to fall back on.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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