Why Paula Deen Can't Just Add Butter This Time

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

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The billion-dollar empire of Paula Deen, the butter queen of gastronomic consumption, is collapsing like an undone soufflé, or a door slammed soufflé, or a pin popped soufflé, and adding butter can't help. Companies are dropping Ms. Deen like a hot potato, saying: "It's been nice spreading you, but its time to frig the relationship."

While folks are supposed to stick together through tough times, the Food Network said good-bye, as did: Target, where she sells her pots and pans; Wal-Mart, same pots and pans; Smithfield's Hams, which she advertises; the Deen name was removed from four buffet restaurants run by Caesars'; and she departed company from the diabetic treatment drug maker Novo Nordisk. Why Alka-Seltzer wasn't included as a sponsor is a mystery.

Through tears, Ms. Deen said, "I wouldn't fire me."

Well, no.

She also said, "I never meant to hurt anyone."

Just pass the butter?

So what in the world did the butter queen do or say? There were revelations that Paula Deen used racial slurs, often. Then it was revealed, "that she wanted to host a "Plantation style" wedding featuring black waiters costumed to look like slaves."

Adding butter to that kind of "Plantation style" wedding plan won't work.

Not very nice to poke fun at a history that people are trying to overcome, but the Supreme Court's recent decision on the Voting Rights Act is right up there with Paula Deen's "Plantation style" wedding.

Fifty years ago, Julia Childs stepped before television cameras on PBS and introduced the world to cooking. She started what developed into the cooking industrial complex which eventually begat Paula Dean and the suggestion of a "Plantation style" wedding with black waiters costumed as slaves.

Also fifty years ago, President Lyndon Johnson signed The Voting Rights Act, part of the Act was eliminated by the Supreme Court almost a week before Independence Day.

Like a well made souffle standing tall, from the state of Governor Rick "oops" Perry, Texas State Senator Wendy Davis, filibustered for thirteen hours against an antiabortion measure that failed to pass. It's equal rights.

Pass the Nutella.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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