Savile's missing £20 million traced to satanic coven brats
London - Police have found the dead perv's millions in a Swiss slush fund for brats of satanic hos. Their existence has been a government secret ever since the year dot according to sources at Operation Upper Gumtree. It means that Savile bough...
Read full storyWorkers complain that the unemployed are getting too physically fit
"I'm working 70 hours a week and have no time to work out, yet my worthless, unemployed neighbor looks like Mr. Universe. It's not fair," grumbled 36-year-old electrical engineer Angus Pasternak. "Ever since he was laid off, he does nothing but jog...
Read full storyGovernment declares passion for rations
In the quest to simplify the morass of tax credits and welfare benefits, the government is to trial a novel cashless scheme, first pioneered in the 1940s. Today a spokesman for the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP, colloquially pronounced 'do...
Read full storyNew Gun Control Ideas Are 'Run Up the Flagpole'
Washington DC -- The presidential task force to control gun violence is floating several ideas through the national media to get public reaction before it releases its final report. Panel head Vice President Joe Biden put it this way: "Before we g...
Read full storyNicest guy in Hollywood is much less of an a-hole than everyone else
Dirk Moncrief, star of the action film "DieWalker" series, was recently voted the nicest guy in Tinseltown, and referred to by many as "Way less of a douchebag than most other Hollywood celebrities." One key grip explained that while Moncrief...
Read full storySkank 109!--Part 2
Here, after a slight delay, the pulse-pounding second chapter of Clyde Crudwell's bestselling Skank 109!: "Sir?" A man's nervous voice rang out in the eerie hollowness of the airplane hangar. "Yes, second lieutenant, what is it?" came the reply from Second Brigadier Bombardier Admiral Benton Onton-Voss. "That man you were just talking to, the civilian." "Ye...
Read full storyTwitter Birdies Plan D. C. Flyover for Inauguration Day
Monday, January 21, will be a very special day for Twitter birdies in the U.S. Many of them have told management that they are taking the day off to participate in the public inauguration of President Barack Obama in Wash., D. C. A patriotic "fly...
Read full storyThe Prez and The Spoof
"Hey Biden, have you seen my new Spoof article? I think it's way cool" said US President Barack Obama to Joe Biden, otherwise known as the Veep, during a recent cabinet meeting. Of course he was talking about the submission he made to The Spoof.com w...
Read full storyGET HIM OFF MY TELEVISION!!! - says everyone
A class action is being filed on behalf of the British Public against BBC, ITV and C4 jointly to redress trauma and distress of seeing 'that b*stard' every time the news is broadcast. Or any BBC retrospective. Keith Foss, spokesman for SOS (Sod Of...
Read full storyD'jango (the D is silent) Action Figures Cause Negative Uproar
The Weinstein Co and toy maker NECA are selling slavery-era action figures based on the characters from Quentin Tarantino's latest picture D'jango (the D is silent) Unchained. Some are questioning if this is appropriate in this day of enlightenmen...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder To Star In The Movie, The Trillion Dollar Coins
HOLLYWOOD - The stars of the hit television show The Vampire Diaries have just been signed to star in Durango Grundyweather's hijacking drama motion picture The Trillion Dollar Coins. The motion picture is being produced by Pipe Dream Films in ass...
Read full storyTaco Bell Adopts New Slogan, "Where's the Modified Corn Starch?"
In the competitive world of advertising, changing the slogan of a product that consumers have come to know and love can either result in you bathing in money, or bathing once a month. Executives at Taco Bell have decided take a huge risk by going wit...
Read full storyPrinceton Looks To Pull Off Upset By Persistently Asking Kentucky Players SAT Review Questions
PRINCETON, NJ: The Princeton University men's basketball team could not have been more thrilled upon receiving the 13th seed in the east bracket and matchup against the number 4 seeded Kentucky Wildcats in the NCAA Tournament. Despite being heavy und...
Read full storyRoommate Would Really Like to Know Where the Fucking Bullets are Going if They're Not Killing that Fucking Guy
Salisbury, MD - Local roommate Mike Harron "is really having trouble believing the guy dodged all those fucking shots." The Salisbury University junior, "honestly cannot believe that just fucking happened." "He was on the ground in last stand, wha...
Read full storyJohn Madden Delivers Delirious Half-time Speech To Hot Dog Vendor
As the first half of Super Bowl 43 came to a close with the Green Bay Packers leading 21-10, former head coach and beloved NFL color commentator John Madden knew it was time. Despite having no idea what time is was, or for that matter how he had g...
Read full storyThe Lady Gaga Vs. Sharon Osbourne Feud Is Heating Up
NEW YORK CITY - Lady Gaga and Sharon Osbourne have become embroiled in a nasty feud that started when Sharon's 28-year-old daughter Kelly made some unkind comments about Lady Gaga. It appears that Kelly stated that Lady Gaga needed to stop wearing...
Read full storyBritney Spears and Jason Trawick's Engagement is Kaput!
BEVERLY HILLS - Britney Spears, ex-X-Factor judge, came out of The Mrs. Ponce De Leon Hotel where she had gone to meet with a music video producer-director, who did not want his name mentioned. She was instantly asked by Hollywood Innuendo's Fajit...
Read full storyParents assure child that their divorce is definitely her fault
PARMA, NY--Following a night of shouting, tears, and slamming doors, Deborah and Mark Leet took the time to tell their daughter April that they both loved her very much, and the reason they were getting divorced was because of her and nothing else.
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