Kim Jong Un Loses Money in Craigslist Con And Threatens to Bomb U.S.
Pyongyang, North Korea-Kim Jong Un has lost his money to an unscrupulous Craigslist poster. North Korean despot Kim Jong Un recently attempted to buy the 1994 Chicago Bulls championship basketball signed by the full team on Craigslist. Of course,...
Read full storyHardline Atheists Condemn Sleep and Sex as Irrational
Dateline: SPRINGFIELD, MI-Speaking jointly at a press conference after coming to a unanimous decision at this year's Skepticon, held at Missouri State University, representatives of the New Atheist movement condemned sleep and sex for being irrat...
Read full storyPope Francis's Superficial Christlikeness is Miraculous, Observers Say
Dateline: VATICAN-Experts agree that Pope Francis has made a concerted effort to change people's impression of the Catholic Church, by adopting a less ostentatious style of public relations, leading non-Christians and Christians alike to be aston...
Read full storyTalking Points should be delivered to Empty Rooms, Politicians and Journalists Agree
Dateline: WASHINGTON-At an unprecedented conference yesterday on relations between journalism and democratic government, Washington correspondents together with congressional leaders and the President reached an understanding about their public c...
Read full storyTea Party Advocates Destruction of All of America (Except its Golf Courses)
Dateline: WASHINGTON-Senator and reputed Tea Party leader Ted Cruz introduced a resolution to the Senate yesterday, calling for the immolation of all of the United States apart from its golf courses. Speaking in favour of the motion on the congre...
Read full storyFirst E cigarettes now kick the E habit with United Drug Federation F cigarettes
The sale of F cigarettes which are the proven effective way to give up E cigarette has gone viral with over one billion units sold worldwide. Many people have become too fond of E cigarettes which helped people to give up cigarettes. A spokesperso...
Read full storyThe American Irrespective: President Obama's Good News, Bad News, and/or Worser News Regarding NBA Team Nicknames and Other Assorted In The Paint/To The Hoop Whatnot - Part 1
Sure, I suppose there's probably more for me to do around here than hang around the Oval Office all the live long day and well into each and every night, doing whatever I can to keep on keepin' on steering our nation even further into a more worthwhile direction that hopefully not only suits our present needs, but, more importantly, sets in now and forever forward motion a systematic readjustment...
Read full storyMen's and women's brains are wired differently!
Scientists have proven what men have always thought they knew inside out! Women tick differently, in fact, they are so different males are in New Zealand and females in Latvia always! One male scientist on the project attempted to wire up with his...
Read full storyWho Knew Nigella Lawson Was On The Grassy Knoll?
Who knew that cooking princess Nigella Lawson was on the grassy knoll, driver of the white Fiat Uno, hunted elephants for their ivory with a machine gun, kept Osama bin Laden hidden in her Aga for several years, the cause of the sub-prime mortgage cr...
Read full storyMany Gay Marriages Are Hard!
Gay marriages are having a hard time because, most say, marriage means commitment, and most of them have never tried that over a long period of time. "This is Rash Limbo and I'm giving it my two cents worth." "Now don't turn away. After all, I...
Read full storyDaley Gay!
A British Olympic hero has bravely admitted to being in a relationship with another man. In what is described as 'coming out', Daley Thompson took to social media to announce that he is dating a man but that he also "still fancies girls". Thomp...
Read full storyGlasgow Helicopter Crash Caused By Flock Of Distraught Seagulls
GLASGOW, Scotland - A flock of seagulls, distraught over the loss of their mates to a windmill farm by hatching a plan to take out a helicopter over a popular Glasgow pub, says anthropologist and part-time crime writer, Archibald Leach, University of...
Read full storyKim Jong un is to change his name to Caligula
After buying Caligula's Roman Palace ruin on the Isle of Capri with a phone bid of 330 million Won, the fruitcake formerly known as Kim Jong un said this morning that as soon as the Western Union transfer is authorised he will move into the ruin and...
Read full storyChimp's 'legal personhood' lawsuit a major threat to simians like George Dubya Bush
New York - Lawyers acting for the 'Chimperor' ex-President of the United States are mounting a legal challenge to an animal frights charity lawsuit that's demanding constitutional parity for a New York chimp. Hairy Apes Anonymous is petitioning a...
Read full storyGiant mutant fly created by Large Hadron Collider
Urgent appeals for a very big fly swatter have been made by the LHC team in Switzerland afer a particle from an accelerator collided with a stray fly. The 10 metre wingspan fly soared out of the collision chamber and ate the operator's Coronation...
Read full storyTurner Prize award triggers massive Tea Room investment
The Turner comedy prize for Art has been won by a Lawry Preview entry. called Wanna tea. The panel said the DVD, which played in a room styled like a tea party, was "chosen for its complex and courageous juxtaposition of people and objects in a deepl...
Read full storyMacy's Day Parade Shocks and Appals Americans
Conservative Americans are up in arms over the inclusion of the hit Broadway musical Kinky Boots in the Macy's Day Parade. "This parade is broadcast across America," said right-wing senator for Illinois, Marcus Bigot. "It's poisoning the minds of...
Read full storyA Baltimore School Teacher Finds An Image of Miley Cyrus On Her Breakfast Muffin
BALTIMORE - Dee Dee Snuggatelli is an English school teacher in the Baltimore School District. She said that in her 7 year teaching career she has pretty much heard and seen it all. She told a local newspaper reporter that a few days ago she wa...
Read full storyThe State of New Mexico Is Making A Tremendous Change
SANTA FE, New Mexico - State Senator Rosie Wexwillow [R-Albuquerque] has spearheaded a movement that will make the biggest change in New Mexico history. The very attractive and recently divorced senator from Albuquerque informed the news media tha...
Read full storyOregon Feminist Group Wants The Oregon State Beavers To Change It's Team Name
CORVALLIS, Oregon - A feminist group based in Portland, Oregon has traveled to the Oregon State campus in an effort to get the university to change the name of its mascot. Loretta Pattonelli, executive director with the group called Gals With A Da...
Read full storyWalmart To Drop The Name Black Friday
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - After yet another Black Friday shopping fiasco where people were shoved, pushed, and attacked, the world's largest retail chain has issued a statement. A Walmart representative stated to the news media that although the vas...
Read full storyWarren Beatty Says He And Annette Bening Will Probably Get Divorced Over The Transgenderism Issue
HOLLYWOOD - Warren Beatty and Annette Bening have been married for 21 years, but as Beatty recently told Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk it looks like the marriage has hit the big Wall of Divorce. The actor who claims to have bedded 9,8...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Denies That His Weight Gain Is Due To An Obsession With Pickles
NEW YORK CITY - Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is reportedly upset at a recent story he read in a supermarket tabloid. Limbaugh stated that as he was standing in the checkout line at a local grocery store he happened to notice the...
Read full storySelena Gomez Disses Justin Bieber's New Song
NEW ORLEANS - Selena Gomez recently said that she has never been happier now that she is no longer having to babysit her former boyfriend Justin Bieber whom she said is 19 going on 9. Gomez had just finished performing at the Voodoo Arena in New O...
Read full storySome Black Friday Shoppers Don't Pussy Foot Around
NEW YORK CITY - An NYPD policeman said that he has been a police officer for 14 years. Officer Dwayne Peckashevski, 39, said that he has been working security on Black Friday at various department stores for the past 10 years and he has never seen...
Read full storyA Retired Tulsa Teacher Wins The National Tabasco Drinking Contest But Loses Both of Her Perfectly Good Tonsils
TULSA, Oklahoma - Local resident Emily Normina Sarkensiggle, 43, was both thrilled and saddened by a recent event. Miss Sarkensiggle who is engaged to Darnell Oldenheimer, 51, won this year's National Tabasco Drinking Contest, which is held every...
Read full storyCameron demands Hong Kong back to save face with Spanish Rajoy snatch attempt
Dave Cameron has taken a tip from Rajoy's Gibraltar snatch back try and is demanding Hong Kong back. Daring Dave has said he will cause big border queues punishing women and children like Mariana Rajoy does in Spain. Yesterday, Dave had a big...
Read full storyAn Examination of the Worth of Cow Urine
New Delhi invented a new product made from cow urine that has a wide range of cures from cancer, diarrhea, to diabetes. It is on sale by the Bharatiya Janata Party and one of their officials claims, "My daughter tried all kinds of things" to rid of h...
Read full storyA 22 Pound Lobster?!?
A 22 pound lobster named Bubba was caught off the shores of Nantucket, MA and shipped to Wholey Market, a Pittsburgh fish market. Some people claim that the lobster is more than 100 years old, making it old enough to have seen two world wars and Proh...
Read full storyLet It Rain, Let It Rain, Let It Rain
On Black Friday, Serge Vorobyov, a man from Minnesota was given a ticket for throwing $1,000 in cash over the balcony at the Mall of America in Minneapolis. It was a lovely mixture of $5, $10, $20, and $100 dollar bills. He is currently going thr...
Read full storyRosie O'Donnell To Play 'The Susan Boyle Story?
Except for the weight problem, no one really expected Rosie O' Donnell to play the 52-year-old singer. "I can lip sync the songs. I can do a good job with all the material Susan has", stated O'Donnell. "Leave it to me. I'll do a good job. It's a...
Read full story