Macy's Day Parade Shocks and Appals Americans

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

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Dillon Doh, the inflatable sex toy

Conservative Americans are up in arms over the inclusion of the hit Broadway musical Kinky Boots in the Macy's Day Parade.

"This parade is broadcast across America," said right-wing senator for Illinois, Marcus Bigot. "It's poisoning the minds of our children!"

Despite the backlash, primary school teachers asked the kids in their classes to comment on the broadcast.

"Most of them were intrigued by the pretty costumes," said Hillary Dale, a primary school teacher in Ohio. "To be honest, they were more freaked out by the clowns."

The teachers did find that the only children who found the Kinky Boots float distasteful were those known to have parents who disliked everybody who wasn't white, middle class, straight and Christian.

"And we think they'd been forced to watch the parade and listen to the tirade of abuse and vitriol," said Ms Dale.

The cast of Kinky Boots responded to the criticism by shopping in Macy's on Black Friday. Macy's were pleased at the publicity, and the fact that transvestites buy more make up and clothing than ordinary women.

"Recent research," said May Seesaw, head of advertising at Macy's, "has shown that one in five hundred men regularly cross dress. In America, that's two and a half million men. As an advertiser, that's a demographic bigger than single working aunties no kids yet, or SWANKYs as we call them. We've yet to come up with a snappy name for the demographic yet, but once we do, we're sure that they'll be more widely accepted. America loves a consumer!"

As much as America loves a consumer, currently the right wing are trying to instil as much fear as possible in people in order to make money off them. They have seized on the Kinky Boots parade.

"Think of the children!" shouted Marcus Bigot.

Hilary Dale agrees. "We should think of the children," she said. "They love dressing up, and they were completely excluded!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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