Testicles sliced off on water park ride
Auntie Jean advises D. Void O'Nuts. "Auntie Jean, my nuts were sliced off by a broken piece of glass fibre on a Water Park slide this morning. The lifeguard retrieved them for me and packed them into a medium fizzy orange carton with ice. I have a day off next week and wondered whether to freeze them until then, when I can get to the casualty department. I know to keep them away from the dog a...
Read full storyDoomsday nut Harold Camping's final prediction warned Mayan Calendar prophecy 'only one year out'
Oakland, California - It's a roller coaster ride to Armageddon this Winter Solstice weekend with the publication of failed Apocalyptic prophet Harold Camping's final deathbed rant exonerating the 2012 Mayan Calendar fiasco as 'slightly out of sync'.
Read full storyEconomists: Video Games, Superhero Movies To Be 50% Of GDP By 2025
This holiday season brings us another round of comic book-inspired movies and increasingly violent video games. While some parents are cringing, economists throughout the US are rejoicing. Their importance to our economic recovery and future stabili...
Read full storyPraying "Real Hard" Really Works!
A new study shows that the effort you put into your prayers counts heavily on whether they actually come true! This potential religious/societal breakthrough is reported after a five-month trial in which thirty people were asked to pray as hard as...
Read full storySanta speaks from the North Pole prior to upcoming interview with FOX news
Santa's residence at the North Pole was dry and sunny with scant snow and ice--a concern the reindeers might not get the sled off the ground smoothly--but Santa himself was maintaining a fierce grin under massive white beard. This interview prior...
Read full storySon sits in vest
A 4-year-old boy was so fascinated when he saw the sun set in the west, whilst getting ready for bed, he just sat by the window only in his vest. "My young son was there for nearly half-an-hour," said his mother, Mrs Idoo Nottchest. "He was just s...
Read full storyScotland poised to form Catelonian alliance and become new E.U. oil rich State..
Alexei Salmon, Jacobite King in waiting and a descendant of William Wallace is set to charge down with a broadsword on horseback with Catalonian mercenaries and take the pasty faced Sassenachs by surprise when he wins the Independence referendum next...
Read full storyThe List of 10 Banned Christmas Toys
Christmas is right around the corner and shoppers are scurrying around looking for that special gift for that special someone in their lives. Each year the top selling gift items are children's toys and this year is no different. For the past few years the Cheyenne, Wyoming-based toy research firm Toys Up The Chimney Researchers of America have provided a list of the 10 best selling toys.
Read full storySanta Laying Off 30% of US Elves on Shelves
North Pole, Inc. today announced drastic workforce reductions and re-alignment of strategic assets, following years of stagnant revenues. Analysts had expected spending cuts for several months but not this close to Christmas. The US Elf on a Shelf D...
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