Praying "Real Hard" Really Works!

Funny story written by Don Fulsom

Tuesday, 17 December 2013

A new study shows that the effort you put into your prayers counts heavily on whether they actually come true!

This potential religious/societal breakthrough is reported after a five-month trial in which thirty people were asked to pray as hard as they could for as long as they could. Another thirty were asked to pray just as they regularly would-before bedtime and when at formal organized services.

The tests were done on equal numbers of Christians, Jews, Hindus and Muslims. One Scientologist (not Tom Cruise) was secretly included in one group, just in case it is a real religion.

The findings are astounding! Those in the "pray hard, pray long" section had 50 percent of their prayers answered. In the "pray at night" group, a mere 45 percent scored answered prayers.

The Scientology believer had no answered prayers, but insisted she saw a pizza pie that seemed to display the face L. Ron Hubbard when only a few of the pepperonis were slightly re-positioned.

Some of those who prayed in the more successful group said they put a lot into each lengthy prayer. One said: "A lot of times, I preceded each prayer with a word or two to Jesus himself by saying ''I really want this badly, for Christ's sake!' And it sometimes worked!"

The Institute for Perpetual Prayer, a non-denominational group created five months ago to demonstrate the efficacy of hard prayers, funded the prayer experiment. The group hopes tp offset the sharp worldwide decline in the popularity of religion.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more