Chris Christie Calls Newspaper, Newspaper
TRENTON, NJ - New Jersey Governor responded to a New York newspaper's headline calling him "fatso" by calling the newspaper, a newspaper. Christie, who could be the fattest man in the White House since William Howard Taft, fired back at the New Yo...
Read full storyWoman Breastfeeds Wild Donkey Back To Health
In Mississippi, where wild donkeys are often seen walking the landscape in search of rough scrub and brush foliage, a woman found a young malnourished foal in need of attention. "I saw the little guy limping in my back yard and cried for the poor...
Read full storyFamily Members Shocked After Child Shot in Gang Territory at 4am
CHICAGO - A Chicago family is mourning the loss of their son, who was stunningly killed when his mother let him play outside in their gang-dominated neighborhood at 4 in the morning Tuesday. Jemichael Stevens was shot and killed as he screamed at...
Read full storyMan Who Had Sex With Smoking Chimney Surprised He Caught Herpes
On July 23, members of a Boise, ID neighbourhood were shocked to find a man on their roof with his pants down having sex with a brick chimney. The local police were contacted and the man was arrested and charged for indecent exposure and trespassing.
Read full storyMan Can't Order Fish Tacos Without Giggling Uncontrollably
Steve Sanchez, A long-term Toronto resident, has trouble concealing his laughter every time he enters a local delicatessen. A highly advertised and popular item on the menu is the restaurant's famous Crispy Fish Tacos. "I just can't do it," says t...
Read full storySaddam Hussain Ghost Ride the top attraction in Zimbabwe's forthcoming 'Disneyland in Africa'
Africa - A hologram of Saddam plunging headlong over Victoria Falls inside a barrel of sweet light crude is one of President Robert Mugabe's personal favorites to top the bill in Zimbabwe's forthcoming US$300m theme park. The project sees hundreds...
Read full storyDitto Déjà Vu All Over Again Squared
This passing gas event in Syria is bizarre on so many levels... Most recently, Assad has been winning; so why do it now? And it appears noncombatants were most affected. Assad's military probably had exclusive control over such weapons, but could not a defector steal a few? And what about false flag use to embroil the US in another hummus swamp? And how can there be any effective response once...
Read full storyIsrael to Build Huge Disneyland Complex in the West Bank!
Prime Minister Netanyahu announced at a press conference that Israel plans to build a Disneyland in the West Bank that will be a replica of the Disneyland in California. Reporters had many questions. "Mr. Prime Minister, the West Bank isn't that b...
Read full storyNew York Mets put the entire team on the Disabled List
Flushing, New York -- With their superstar pitcher going down with a serious elbow ailment, the New York Mets have placed every one of its players on the 365 day Disabled List, essentially shutting down the team until further notice. General mana...
Read full storySatNavs are to be made 'more human'
SatNavs, the indispensable piece of kit for all modern motorists that have forgotten how to read maps, are to be made more human in an effort to sell new SatNavs, now virtually every motorists have one. "They're very robotic," said Tom Garmin, hea...
Read full storyMissing woman found safe and well
A 65-year-old Skegness woman has been discovered alive at the bottom of an ancient, dried-up well on the edge of Hag Wells Wood. Homeless Vera Tuwells had been living rough for several months, and recently found the partly hidden well which was em...
Read full storyApple will unveil iWatch next week
CUPERTINO, CA - Apple announced today that it will release the iWatch in a few days. Timothy D. Cook, Apple CEO, told this reporter that the new iWatch will be launched on September 3, one day prior to the release of Samsung's new smartwatch and a...
Read full storyNew York Attorney General Sues Donald Trump
ALBANY, NY - New York's attorney general, Eric Schneiderman, sued Donald Trump for $63 million Monday, saying the real estate mogul violated New York's law that prevents citizens from hiding their face in public. The alleged incident occurred last...
Read full storyKatie Price and Peter Andre reunite to solve Syrian Crisis
Z-List celebrities Katie Price (aka, ironically, Jordan) and Peter Andre have reunited for the first time to help solve the Syrian Crisis. The bimbo and the Aussie have been flown to the war-torn Middle Eastern country in an effort to ease tensio...
Read full storyChemical Warfare not Okay
The use of chemicals against civilians in Syria has caused considerable controversy in the highest political echelons with the UN coming out in force to condemn it. Here are two comments worth considering. Said Lt.Col. Clement Mason, head of the US Military: "We have taught the world that it is okay to kill people in pursuit of monetary gain... and when it comes to feathering one's nest mo...
Read full storyThe New "Facebook Filter"
Facebook is finally doing something right. In the past several months, Facebook has fallen behind many other social media sites including Twitter, Instagram,and Vine. In response, Facebook is rumored to be unleashing a new "Does Anyone Care Filter?" Here's how it works. After you post a status, it will be reviewed at Facebook Headquarters where it will be determined if anyone really cares wh...
Read full storyMan United v Chelsea: Rooney swaps teams at half-time
Dwayne Rodney finally got his wish of a transfer away from the Manc'ester devils last night - although he didn't move far - only to the away team dressing room as Marmitechester United hosted Chelsea in the first Monday night 'classico' of the season...
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