Serial litterer angers police

Written by Tom Bola

Tuesday, 27 August 2013


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

Greater Manchester Police today sealed off the car park of the Jolly Butcher Public House, Manchester, when a sharp eyed member of the public reported a Coca Cola can lodged in the bushes.

The Police believe that they may have a serial litterer at work. Inspector Colin Allcars said that we are connecting the Coca Cola can with the empty crisp bag and used Durex found in the shrubs near the Chicken Hut at the foot of a dead child.

Inspector Allcars said, Greater Manchester Police have a zero tolerance against people who just think that they can buy food and drink and launch "the shite" at will.

"Would these people throw shit about in their own gardens? Yes they would, but they are not throwing their shit about on my manor."

Asked about the dead child near the chicken hut, Inspector Allcars retorted:

"Why are you wasting my time with dead kids, we have a nutter on the loose lobbing litter about."

When the press requested permission to enter the car park to take photographs, Inspector Allcars agreed but only if we wiped our feet as the Landlord had just swept and mopped it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more