Woman Breastfeeds Wild Donkey Back To Health

Funny story written by TheStarpilotHasLanded

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

image for Woman Breastfeeds Wild Donkey Back To Health
"I held it in my arms and nourished it with my lactating mammaries. People may think I'm crazy but I saved his life.

In Mississippi, where wild donkeys are often seen walking the landscape in search of rough scrub and brush foliage, a woman found a young malnourished foal in need of attention.

"I saw the little guy limping in my back yard and cried for the poor animal," weeped Cerise Brown, "and I couldn't let it die as I knew it would if nobody helped it."

"I held it in my arms and nourished it. People may think I'm crazy but I saved his life."

During this unusually dry acrid summer season are falling to illness due to lack of proper food. Local natural habitat authorities are scrambling to help these poor animals.

John Davies of the Mississippi State Park Authority says there isn't much we can do to save these poor asses.

"We just can't do it this year. Our funding has been stripped, we are understaffed, and the weather just doesn't seem to be supporting the growth of carbohydrate heavy vegetation, which these donkeys need to survive."

A foundation has been started to promote adoption of these beautiful creatures but the resources are thin. "People just don't seem to want to adopt these donkeys." says Davies, attributing the lack of attention and public interest to ass-hating hysteria in today's popular reality television programming. "If we don't do something soon, we could lose all our wild asses and that would be a national disgrace."

"I just knew that he needed my help," said Brown, holding her little ass, "and now he's my best friend."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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