Scott Brown takes his indecision on the campaign trail
Former Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown is continuing his indecisive behavior and believes that voters will embrace it during the next election. Which election? Well, he is undecided on that as well. Throughout his short time in the US Senate, Br...
Read full storyMiranda Rights and wrongs probed in Greenwald partner's airport arrest
New York - Lawyers for the US Diabolical Liberties Union are pissed at Brit cops' nine hour detention of Brazilian national David Miranda at a Heathrow Airport transit zone this weekend. The 28-year-old was nabbed after disembarking from a Berlin...
Read full storyThe doctor is in…take a number!
It is 2:45 pm and you take a number, look at the "health news" on the TV screen, look for something to read and settle on a 2003 Newsweek. You look at your fellow sick people and wish you weren't here. They look at you and you see them thinking, "Why does he bother!" One by one they go in. I am called back to the receptionist desk to show my Medicare and Humana card, I try to make a few pleasantr...
Read full storyMicrosoft readies Windows SurPhobletoaster with 17.3 inch screen
REDMOND, WA - Microsoft announced the release of their new 17.3 inch SurPhobletoaster, due to arrive in stores on Oct. 31. The new device, running Windows 8.7, is a smart phone, tablet and toaster. Battery life is expected to exceed 13 minutes and...
Read full storyObamas' Dog Poops on Floor in Oval Office
WASHINGTON, DC - ***BREAKING NEWS*** The Obama's new dog, Sunny, issued his own "release" today, taking a giant dump on the floor of the Oval Office. Barack Obama tweeted the following: @BarackObama Check it out: #SunnyTakesDump Welcome to the...
Read full storyGuardian type hard drive extermination program goes planetary
Destruction of Snowden-data hard drives at Guardian offices, revealed yesterday, is the beginning of a much wider program to eliminate not only related leak-data but any references to, or recollections of, the man and the name Snowden. According t...
Read full storyGun Companies Realize More Profit Made Being Patriotic To The Taliban Than To The U.S.
A major financial shift has occurred within the gun manufacturing section of the United States Corporate industry. A huge surge has come about in the number of guns and ammunition being clandestinely sold to the Mid East terror organization Al Queda.
Read full storyMurray to change name by deed poll for Wimbledon title defence.
Wimbledon champion, Andy Murray will have a new name when next Summer's tennis comes to SW19. The dunblane born player will change his name by deed poll to become Andy Murray's-deep-fried-Mars-bars for the duration of the tournament. This move...
Read full storySamsung to launch platinum smart phone
MOM'S BASEMENT, NY - The Internet is abuzz over reports that the next Samsung Galaxy 13y will be clad with platinum. The announcement came shortly after Apple announced that they will be launching a new gold iPhone in September. According to re...
Read full storyMade-up United set for promotion, Imaginary Town to be relegated
After the opening match of the season, Made-up United's magnificent two goal win over Imaginary Town has Made-up's fans looking froward to a promotion party at the end of the season. "We were magnificent," said Dominic Fridge, a life-long Made-up...
Read full storyBloomberg Presses for Action on Bakery Rules
NEW YORK, NY - New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is not backing down. A day after an appeals court rejected his ban on sugary drinks larger than 16 ounces, Bloomberg started a new crusade to save New York citizens from themselves. In a press rel...
Read full storyStar Wars Episode VII: Leaked Plot Points Hit The Internet.
George Lucas and head of Disney, Wallace Gromit, are said to be in talks today after top secret plot points for the new Star Wars movie "Episode VII: The Revenge Of The Endoscopy" somehow found their way on to top internet discussion forum "fat40ands...
Read full storyTrousers top the list of most useful clothing item
Many thought the bra would have been the most useful invention invented by the inventive. However, it has been pipped to the top of the clothing pops by trousers. Researchers for Hi! magazine who conducted the survey think that this was because most...
Read full storyOnly Two Teams Keep Crimson Tide On Their Schedules
All schools playing the Alabama Crimson Tide except two have cancelled their games against the juggernaut for the upcoming season. The Virginia Tech Hokies, slated to start the season Aug. 31 at 4:30 p.m. (CT) in Atlanta's Georgia Dome, and the T...
Read full storyDiet book causes crime spree in Nordic country
Norway's standing as a peaceful and low crime country, has taken a severe hit after a new diet crazes has hit the country. The book "steel what you eat" has been on the bestseller list for two months and the effects can be felt in the otherwise q...
Read full storyObama Favours Cupboard Reorganisation
WASHINGTON, DC - In an effort to maximise control of gouvernment, feel more European and minimise Amerika, the Obama administration is proposing reorganising his cupboard. Obama lead Barrister, Grant Moorhead, announced today that King Obama would...
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