Guardian type hard drive extermination program goes planetary

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 20 August 2013

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Kindergarten teachers required to don uniform for anti-Snowden program

Destruction of Snowden-data hard drives at Guardian offices, revealed yesterday, is the beginning of a much wider program to eliminate not only related leak-data but any references to, or recollections of, the man and the name Snowden.

According to an anonymous spokesperson for the spokespersons of UK and US intelligence on this matter, this action has kicked off a "two-pronged global program to a)destroy all leak-related data and references to Snowden on all hard drives throughout the planet; and b) demonize the name to obliterate it from public consciousness."

The spokesperson for the spokespersons added: "He has been categorized beyond persona non grata to persona en excrementum."

The extermination program includes fines and prison terms for maintaining any data using the term Snowden, related to the Snowden leaks.

Joint UK and US intelligence services will regularly surveil internet equipment globally to make sure any references are duly "cleansed."

International police treaties are now being sought with Saudi Arabia, Qatar, UAE, Bahrain, Russia, Australia, Canada, India, Pakistan, and throughout international territory employing the internet generally.

Once surveillance surfaces any associated reference, anywhere on the planet--even the name itself (or associated words: see below)--special ops forces will provide follow-up in an international policing protocol with the acronymn THUG (the homesecurity ubiquitous global program).

Law enforcement with search-and-destroy-hard-drive training is already underway along with manufacture and dispersal of high quality titanium steel mallets and galvanized nodular brooms of extraordinary durability.

Anyone found not exterminating his/her Snowden reference-data will be subject to police action and incarceration, with new prisons currently under construction in the Arizona desert.

Surveil and identify programs re Snowden data-search will include elimination of any of the following (possibly) related terms:

*Snowed in
*Snowed off

Other snow-related words may be added to this list with checks for updates required of all internet users.

(Note: the word snow itself will not be added to the list at this time.)

The second part of the program, under the acronym UGH (ubiquitious global homesecurity program) constitutes further demonizing of the name Snowden using MSM outlets such as The Times, CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News.

Taking a clue from American history and the Salem Witch Trials, a massive brainwashing hatred and demonizing program will be accelerated using images of demons with red eyes, witches with tails and pitchforks, and baying hounds with slavering jaws.

Portraying Snowden as the evil-of-all-evils, with special elementary school programs, is now being formulated for these purposes.

Kindergarten teachers will be required to don special uniforms for presentations of this educational material.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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