Punctuated Equilibrium Comes to a Full Stop
A scientific interdisciplinary body is berating evolutionists for not establishing the Theory of Evolution as a fact. U.S.E. (Useful Science Electorate) says "Not only has nothing of practical use come from this theory, but they also have not even pr...
Read full storyGordon Ramsay To Serve Penguin Burgers And Panda Pizzas!
Gordon Ramsay, it seems, upsets somebody nearly every day of the week. This time the foul mouthed Scot from England has angered animal lovers by announcing several new menu items at his Michelin starred restaurants - some featuring penguin meat!...
Read full storyScientists Discover Chimps Suffer Mid-Life Crises Too
Following extensive research by a group of scientists it's been confirmed that chimpanzees are even more like humans than we thought. Researchers studied the behaviour of around 500 captive chimps all over the world and found that their sense of w...
Read full storyObama attempts to "French Kiss" Burma's Daw Aung San Suu Kyi
Newly re-elected President Obama has travelled to Burma for a bit of R & R after his strenuous election campaign. He thought that Burmese opposition leader, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, could do with a bit of cheering up after two years of house arrest...
Read full storyNew species of suckerfish named after Obama
Tuscaloosa, Alabama - Scientists at the Alabama Museum of Natural Hystery have named a newly discovered relative of the Whitefin Sharksucker species after President Obama. Echeneis Neucratoides Obamanemesis is a rare example of remora from the Ec...
Read full storyLocal Tramp Pays Surprise Visit To British Troops In Afghanistan
Local tramp and wino Solomon McGeachy today paid a surprise visit to British personnel stationed at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan. Arriving in secret and in the middle of the night, Solomon flew into the country on a morale boosting visit. The be...
Read full storyDead Man Laughing: 2
As if competing in some hideous competition for the ultimate accolade of, "Imbeciles Of The Century" the Government, or what passes for one, have announced yet another barnstorming money wasting idea. Seemingly,Do-nothing-Dave and his follically c...
Read full storyI'm a Celebritiy get me out of here! Punch up.
There was a rumble in the celebrity jungle this morning when Tarzan dropped into the camp and demanded to know who gave them permission to use his Australian cousin's land. Cameras were turned off while ITV executives tried to negotiate with the i...
Read full storyRegulator to intervene in Sally Bercow Twitter row
A UK communications watchdog, has announced an investigation into a number of claims made on-line by unknown reporter Roy Turse concerning Sally Bercow. On Monday, Roy Turse named Ms Bercow as a 'serial Twitter abuser' and 'publicity junkie' and i...
Read full storyOptimus Prime Actor Struggles with Life after Transformers
The Transformers movie trilogy has grossed over $2.6 billion and launched the careers of Meghan Fox, Josh Duhamel and Shia la Bouef. However, as this reporter discovered, not everyone associated with the films has gone on to bigger and better thin...
Read full storyExclusive - David Beckham's New Career Plans
Following David Beckham's announcement that he intends to quit the LA Galaxy at the end of the MLS season for a 'new challenge' speculation has been rife as to what the new challenge may be. It was previously thought that he would be heading out...
Read full storyA Crowd of Soccer Moms Gasp at Flo-Rida Lyrics
Manhattan, NY - NBC's Today Show kicked off a series of Thanksgiving week concerts with an outdoor show by rising rap star, Flo-Rida, on Monday. An impressive crowd of Flo-Rida fans turned out for the free event outside NBC's Today Show studios in...
Read full storyHoney Boo Boo Visits The White House
McINTYRE, Georgia - One of President Obama's biggest little supporters is Alana Thompson, better known as Honey Boo Boo of the cable show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. The little seven-year-old veteran of the reality show Toddlers & Tiaras recentl...
Read full storySuper Pacs Adapt Campaign Tactics for the Common Folk
Washington, DC - Now that the 2012 Presidential campaign is finally over, Super Pacs, those zany organizations that played a major role in funding the candidates, are left wondering what to do. Then there is Super Fund manager, Carter Deustch of t...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Lends Her Shoulder To Selena Gomez
BEVERLY HILLS - Selena Gomez knows that Taylor Swift is no stranger when it comes to having relationships end. And for that reason, Taylor was the first person that Gomez called after her breakup with long time boyfriend Justin Bieber. Tay-Ta...
Read full storyWillie Nelson Buys 10,000 Twinkies
AUSTIN - There is no bigger fan of Hostess Twinkies than country music icon Willie Nelson. The 79-year-old bearded wonder from the heart of Texas told Calcutta Cotton of Music Moments Magazine that he figures that he has probably eaten a little ov...
Read full storyThe Justin Bieber - Jenny McCarthy Rumors Are Flying
LOS ANGELES - The Nokia Theater rumor mills wasted no time as they started churning away before the final goodbyes at the 40th Annual American Music Awards. One of the highlights of the show was when Justin Bieber won the Entertainer of The Year A...
Read full storyMy life as a man #30
It's all about having fun until somebody loses an eye! I wrote a few days back that I'd lived through every Presidential election since Dwight Eisenhower's in 1951. Granted, I was not aware of anything more than my momma's nipple and my shitty diapers for that first election; but by the time Ike's successor John F. Kennedy ran in 1959, I'd heard all about Republicans and Democrats. My dad was...
Read full storyMcCain rips Obama for not bailing out Twinkies!
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) - Arizona Senator John McCain ripped President Barack Obama's failure to offer a bail out to Twinkie producer Hostess Brands this afternoon. Speaking before the US Senate, McCain called Obama a "heartless, Godless un-Amer...
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