Willie Nelson Buys 10,000 Twinkies

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

image for Willie Nelson Buys 10,000 Twinkies
Willie strumming his guitar in the backyard of George Strait's San Antonio mansion. (Photo by Mayor Julian Castro).

AUSTIN - There is no bigger fan of Hostess Twinkies than country music icon Willie Nelson.

The 79-year-old bearded wonder from the heart of Texas told Calcutta Cotton of Music Moments Magazine that he figures that he has probably eaten a little over 49,000 in his entire life.

Nelson added that back in 1973, he even wrote a divorce themed song about the snack cake called "Woman You Can Take My Stash of Money, But Don't You Dare Touch My Stash of Twinkies."

The song made it all the way to #7 on the country music charts and was voted the Song of The Year in Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Portugal.

After hearing that the Irving, Texas, company that produces Hostess Twinkies, Wonder Bread, Ho Ho's, Va Va Vooms, and Sno Balls may be going out of business Willie and his band members rushed out and purchased 10,000 Twinkies from local supermarkets in Austin and in the surrounding area.

Nelson was told by a close friend of his, Bubba "Billy" Chutney, a professional baker, that frozen Twinkies can last up to 17 years.

SIDENOTE: Willie told Music Moments Magazine that he eats about 13 of the snack treats per day, so he figures that he has enough Twinkies to last him a pretty good while.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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