Limbaugh:"Liberals want to open up Pandora's Box and you to pay for it!"
Rush Limbaugh opened his program yesterday afternoon with a statement that further shocked most Americans, cost him seven more advertisers, and sent the entire Board of Directors of NOW into an alcohol and drug induced coma. Limbaugh: "Three was...
Read full storyThe Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Five
The story so far... To be brutally honest, there isn't much of a story so far. In fact it's all just a little confusing. Youthful adventurers, The Spiffing Six are on holiday in Cornwall at Aunt Peg's cottage, and they haven't really done much of anything, other than eat and drink a lot. They did see a mysterious light out on the cliffs, but nothing seems to have come of the anticlimactic incid...
Read full story"FFS Lay Off Balotelli!" - Says Die Hard United Fan
Die hard Manchester United fan, Donald Skoob, a janitor at Salford University, today appealed to the media, and his fellow fans, to lay off Mario Balotelli. Skoob roundly condemned the media sensationalism surrounding the young Italian striker, in...
Read full storyLatest Episode Of Spiffing Six Saga To Be Released Within The Hour!
Skoob Entertainment News's inside man, Martin Shuttlecock, has just related that the long awaited latest episode of The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Five is to be released within the hour. It is anticipated that...
Read full storyAmerican Women Are Sluts, Source Says
The leader of a respectable political party said this week that most American women are sluts. He named one woman specifically, who advocated the use of tax money for birth control, using the euphemism "women's health." The party leader, who is al...
Read full storyEd Sheeran triumphs at The Ginger Awards
The first ever Ginger Awards took place last night with singing ginger Ed Sheeran winning three awards. The carrot top won "most musical ginger", "coolest ginger haircut" and "best ginger newcomer". Other winners included Chris Evans for "best rad...
Read full storyLady Gaga Cleavage Bra Blah Blah Blah - DM Scoops Piffle Prize Again!
The Daily Mail romped home with today's Piffle Prize for puerile and mundane reporting with a headline that is quite simply too mind numbingly dull to repeat in its entirety in the pages of this steamed organ. The bollockingly brilliant and irrepr...
Read full storyPM and QC brother Alexander Cameron 'to ride sidesaddle in Olympics donkey derby'
Cotswolds - The siblings will compete in the London 2012 Olympic Ass of the Year race over seven furlongs it was announced today. The new event in the Olympic Schedule has been described as made in heaven for the bruvvers after both showed some am...
Read full storyObama Abducted by Space Aliens...Biden Now President...Dems Mourn
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) -- President Barack Obama was abducted by the crew of a space ship and has not been heard from since 4:20 a.m. (EST). Accordingly, Vice Presideent Joseph Biden has assumed the office of the presidency. His first act was to pr...
Read full storyPanic at Daily Mail as paper "runs out of transgender stories"
Hacks at The Daily Mail were reeling yesterday as it emerged that they had "run out of transgender people to demean and misrepresent" . A source from inside the News Room told us "It's awful. It looks like we've just used up all the trans people. We...
Read full storyControversial winner of Mum of the Year
The Mum of the Year, ironically sponsored by a fox this year, has thrown up yet another controversial winner. Previous winners have included Kerry Katona and Margaret Thatcher. This year had many names that were already controversial, but none so...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Nine
A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 92 - The wind blew hard across the decaying graffiti'd gravestone littered cemetery.... The wind blew hard across the decaying graveyard. Creating unholy noises, and blowing up the Guards trouser legs something rotten, as he made his way acro...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Eight - The Night of the Flood
A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 91 - The Night of the Flood The site was well out into the sticks, and consisted of the main factory, 12 electricity substations, and 3 separate warehouses, a fish pond (really no joke!) a secondary site with 15 lorries, offices, a fuelling po...
Read full storyPontius Pilate to be Canonised
Pontius Pilate, the man best known for sentencing Jesus to his death, is set to be Canonised later this month. The move comes after a heavy influx of reprehensible, high profile beings in the last 10 years. People like Jordan, Sarah Palin and Pie...
Read full storyRowling's New Book
Speculation is rife as to the plot of J.K. Rowling's new book for adults. Her first editor Barry Cunningham was unavailable for comment. Ian Rankin, friend of Rowling's and Scotland's most renowned thriller writer was also unavailable for comment. Geoffrey Archer was not available for comment either. Just who her present editor is remains a mystery. However, in a recent poll among the UK's leading...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Seven - Stanley Matthews or Jonah?
A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 91 - Stanley Matthews, or Jonah? It was on a very heavy muddy wet playing field come pitch, come quagmire on Melbourne Road Park, that I made my first (and only) appearance in the Nottingham Thursday Football League, for the Nottingham Co-op S...
Read full storyFacebook Introduces Ability To Comment On A Comment, Accidentally Unleashes Infinite Loop
PALO ALTO-In what was intended as a neat way for friends and family to say their peace on the peace that another person said on an original post that may or may not be a mutual friend, Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg claims he had absolutely...
Read full storyRice a Roni - Song Parody of Tenderoni by Chromeo
It is back a(gain) so tell a (friend) its rice a (its rice a) its rice a (aaaaa) Tell a (friend) tell a (freind) you and i, baby we cook side by side. me and you, tell me what we're gonna do (2x) no matter what i came here to cook no matter what you came here to eat we really aint got nowhere to go cuz I want some rice a roni (2x) you and i, baby we cook side by side. me and yo...
Read full storyCharles "Motor Mouth" Barkley Has Stuck His Oversized Foot In His Venomous Mouth Again!
NEW YORK CITY - Charles Barkley, alias the "Round Mound of Rebound" has once again let his mouth overload his bottom side. The "Chuckster" has gone and written a check that his fat behind cannot cash. And the object of Barkley's verbal assault are...
Read full storyThe Big Dipper's Anniversary: 100 Points and Videos Of His 20,000 Sex Partners
BILLINGSGATE POST - Fifty years ago on March 2, 1962, Wilt Chamberlain turned in one of the most legendary performances in sport's history, scoring 100 points in the Philadelphia Warriors' victory against the New York Knicks. It's a record that has n...
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