Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Saturday, 3 March 2012

image for The Big Dipper's Anniversary: 100 Points and Videos Of His 20,000 Sex Partners
The Big Dipper

BILLINGSGATE POST - Fifty years ago on March 2, 1962, Wilt Chamberlain turned in one of the most legendary performances in sport's history, scoring 100 points in the Philadelphia Warriors' victory against the New York Knicks. It's a record that has not been broken and one that carries a certain amount of romanticism and intrigue. There are no videotape highlights of the game and only a scratchy radio account of what took place that memorable evening.

By comparison, Kobe Bryant's 81 points against Toronto in 2006 is the second most points scored in an NBA game. Chamberlain, who passed away in 1999 at 63, said "It's a record that I am proud of, of course. But it pales in comparison to my record of making love with 20,000 women."

Wilt did nothing in a small way. He stood 7-feet-1 and estimates of his love tool bordered on the ridiculous. For obvious reasons he did nothing to dispel these rumors, knowing that it drove women of all ages into a frenzy to test their own equipment against his pride and joy. His home in Los Angeles was built to his specifications, allowing him to go through doorways without ducking. His bedroom floor was completely covered with a gigantic waterbed that could easily allow up to 20 or more women to bounce around while waiting for their turn to be serviced by the Big Dipper.

An interesting side-bar to this story is added by Paul Arizin, who along with Chamberlain, was selected as one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History. He and Chamberlain were teammates for three years. Arizin was white, married with childen and near the end of his career. Chamberlain was black, a bachelor and at the beginning of his career. Arizin said that in their three years as teammates he never had a meaningful conversation with Chamberlain.

To most players of his era, as Al Attles described, "Wilt was Paul Bunyan. He was so mythical."

Dr. Billingsgate has in his custody the videos of Wilt and his 20,000 sex-crazed strumpets. However, because the Big Dipper did not want anyone alive to be embarassed by these videos, he bequeathed them to Dr. Billingsgate with the stipulation that they would not be shown until fifty years after his death.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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