Oprah to sell off sofa that Tom Cruise jumped on
Following the news that Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from actor husband Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey has used the news to advertise her Sunday morning Hollywood garage sale. Writing on Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook and Craiglist the entrepreneur...
Read full storySatirical Website Breaks New Ground By Introducing Cyber-Bullying And Flaming Forum
Satirical website, TheSpoof.com is reportedly considering the introduction of an all new forum slot dedicated exclusively to cyber-bullying and online flaming, although at this point, this has yet to be confirmed. "What it is, right," Spoof ne'er...
Read full storyPrince of Liechtenstein outed as Barking kebab shop owner, innit
Vaduz - 'Fabulously wealthy' Prince Alois of Liechtenstein has been unmasked as missing Barking kebab peddler Constantidis Paranoidius. The fugitive from justice is wanted on Isle of Dogs food poisoning charges following an outbreak of canine VD a...
Read full storyRepublicans Unveil a Do-It-Yourself Healthcare Plan
Washington DC - Desperate to take the lead in the nation's never-ending healthcare debate, Congressional Republicans are massing behind an initiative that would provide all Americans with a do-it-yourself medical kit containing everything they need t...
Read full storyEuro 2012: Englands Jermaine Defoe to change name by deed poll
As the only recognised striker not to get a chance in Roy Hodgsons England Euro 2012 squad, Jermaine Defoe has decided on drastic action to push his way into the bosses plans for the forthcoming world cup fixtures. When Defoe arrives back in Engla...
Read full storyRomney: "We serve no whine…before its time!"
A leaked memo from the Romney campaign made public this morning indicates the presidential candidate is instructing his staff to, "Serve no whine…before its time!" Romney further elaborated on the old Paul Masson commercial by telling his spokesmen t...
Read full storyLocal Man Survives Horrendous Buttock Area Gas Explosion
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a part time roast chestnut vendor from Titchfield, revealed that he had survived a horrendous buttock area gas explosion earlier today. "I was lucky to escape unsinged," Shuttlecock told reporters. According to so...
Read full storyResearch Reveals That Fish DO Sweat
Researchers at Titchfield College Of Perspiration today revealed that fish actually do sweat, and that the reason why nobody ever noticed previously is that the little beads of perspiration are quickly diluted by the surrounding watery environment.
Read full storyBank Worker Sacked for Lending a Colleague a Tenner till next Wednesday
Kevin Smalley, 48, a clerk at Natleys Bank has been dismissed from his job after a senior manager discovered that he had lent £10 to a fellow employee. The reciprocant of the loan, Wendy Smidgin, a sales counter assistant at the same branch, had m...
Read full storyDyson creates the world's quietest hoover
"First off," said James Dyson, inventor and genial genius, "can we sort out that they are called vacuum cleaners? Hoover is a rival brand. It's not a verb, any more than Microsoft, T-Mobile or Sony are verbs. I'm glad that's cleared up, now carry on.
Read full storyJustin and Demi to duet
The world of showbiz turned 360 degrees and then another 180 just for good measure last night with the sensational news of a long awaited duet between teen heart throbs Justin and Demi. It was confirmed by publicists today that 'Mr Trousersnake'...
Read full storyJulian Assange demands emergency anti-sleepwalking pills as bail-break cops surround embassy
London - Fears he might accidentally sleepwalk out of Ecuador's Knightsbridge legation are preying on the bail fugitive's mind. A 3am foray into the ambassador Ana Alban's private fridge and unexplained loss of yummy goodies have been self-diagnos...
Read full storyA Shocking Discovery
As we know, static electricity has been with us forever and has been the bane of many people's lives, mild electric shocks etc. to the funny side of it, when after a quick "rub" on your woolly jersey you can stick balloons to a living room wall. E...
Read full storySelected UK Political News for W/E: 30th June 2012
Sunday 24th June 2012 Topic: Postcode lottery - Benefit cuts "Benefits could be cut outside of South East" Source: The Mirror Extract: Jobless people in the poorest parts of Britain could have their benefits cut in a huge shake-up of the welfare system. The Tories are considering a postcode system with lower payments for people in areas outside the South East where it is cheaper to...
Read full storyNottingham News for W/E: 30th June 2012
Sunday 24th June 2012 Topic: Crime - Murder "Nottingham man appears in court over stabbing death" Source: BBC News Extract A 21-year-old Nottingham man has appeared before city magistrates charged with murder. Marcin Cwiakalo, of Osborne Street, Radford, was remanded in custody and is due to appear at Nottingham Crown Court on 25 June. He is accused of fatally stabbing Mark Blade...
Read full storyA U.S. Mailman In Wyoming Explains Why He Will Never Ever Be Attacked By A Dog
CHEYENNE, Wyoming - Wyatt Blatzenfeller has been a postal carrier for the Cheyenne Post Office since 1972, a total of 40 years. He recently spoke to Anderson Cooper on Anderson Cooper 360 and told him that in that time he has never once been bitten by a dog or even been approached by a dog. He noted that he personally knows of 17 postmen who were bitten by a dog while delivering the mail.
Read full storyTom Cruise Denies That The Reason Why Katie Holmes Filed For Divorce Was Because of Heidi Montag
NEW YORK CITY - Tom Cruise says that he still cannot believe that his wife Katie has filed for a divorce. He spoke with Ty Tickler of Hollywood Innuendo and told him that he was caught totally off guard. Cruise said that he first heard about Katie...
Read full storyTom Cruise and Russell Brand to remarry after their divorces
Following the shock announcement that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are to divorce, a friend of Cruises confirmed that he has not ruled out a fourth marriage. The Mission Impossible actor, 50 next week, was previously married to Mimi Rogers and Nico...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan's Upskirt Photo Reveals An Interesting Secret
LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan and her mom Dina attended a Selena Gomez concert at The San Andreas Fault Coliseum. As mother and daughter were exiting Lohan's limo the paparazzi were treated to an upskirt display that they had not seen since Britney...
Read full storyIan Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Stars of The Vampire Diaries Are Overheard Using The "M" Word
MARINA DEL REY - Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev, the stars of The Vampire Diaries, borrowed their good friend Rob Pattinson's yacht, The Twilight Tigress. The two sailed out on the Pacific Ocean to watch the annual sperm whale mating rituals off...
Read full storyA List of 10 Rejected Reality Shows
HOLLYWOOD - Armstrong Jimmy Pennypocket senior executive director with The Television Coalition For Reality Show Development has just released a list of 10 reality shows that did not make the cut. Mr. Pennypocket stated that the reasons why some of the shows did not make it onto the television viewing schedule range from use of a unusually large amount of expletives to the reality show actors a...
Read full storyEurozone Leaders Agree to Stake Bailout on Soccer Final
In an effort to promote this weekend's European Championships between Spain and Italy, UEFA has struck a deal with the European Central Bank whereby immediately following the conclusion of this Sunday's match, the sovereign debt of the winning countr...
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