Eurozone Leaders Agree to Stake Bailout on Soccer Final

Written by Salsero Blanco

Saturday, 30 June 2012

In an effort to promote this weekend's European Championships between Spain and Italy, UEFA has struck a deal with the European Central Bank whereby immediately following the conclusion of this Sunday's match, the sovereign debt of the winning country will be completely forgiven.

The losing side will be forced to endure levels of austerity unheard of in the Eurozone for a period long enough to repay the ECB for the victorious country's forgiven debts. As part of these austerity measures, the losing side will be forced to play with only 10 players in all international competition and donate that 11th salary to the European Financial Stability Fund (EFSF).

After two years of bitter disputes over complicated funding facilities and sticky austerity measures, UEFA was able to bring together the leaders of both countries on the deal, mostly by appealing to their national pride.

Early polls show that the citizens of both countries fully support the idea and look forward to the suffering they will impose on the neighbors across the Mediterranean.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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