"Mind the door doesn't slam on your fetid ass!" as Ecuador tells Assange to stuff his asylum plea
London - The Wikileaks founder is in shock tonight as the promised big blow job from the Prez of Ecuador finally failed to come up with the goods. He's been given the bum's rush by Rafael Correa despite prostrating himself 'naked' before Ecuador's...
Read full storyMovie Executives Ask Zach Galifanakis Star of The "Hangover" Movies To Please Change His Last Name
HOLLYWOOD - Shakespeare's Juliet once asked, "What's in a name?" And literally hundreds of people have provided what they think is the answer. But comedian Zydeco Dupree recently stated to Barbara Walters on The View that the only answer to that q...
Read full storyJapan sells fish caught near Fukushima to Zombies
Dead seafood caught off Japan's Fukushima coastline went on sale to a village inhabited by Zombies. Those are the same Zombies that worked in the famous movie, "Dawn of the Dead." After the filming was done, the Zombies were shipped to Japan to r...
Read full storyLow Income Fat Kids To Be offered Free Liposuction and Plastic Surgery To Help Improve Self Esteem
Millions of hideously overweight children are to be given free liposuction should Barrack Obama get his way. In a follow on of the "No child left behind" policy the President has promised to attack obesesity head on in the nations schoools. The S...
Read full storyRomans enjoyed tax-free havens Jersey & Guernsey too!
Not only do modern day stand-up comedians enjoy shipping their money out to Jersey and Guernsey to avoid paying taxes, it seems the Romans did it too. A huge find of 1st BC century Roman coins has proven the point and many of the coins found bea...
Read full storyWow! Signal Has Been Finally Decoded and It Did Come From Aliens
The Wow! signal, a mysterious radio transmission detected in 1977 that it is now confirmed came from extraterrestrials, has finally been deciphered and the message translated into English. The Wow! signal is the only piece of incoming data to have...
Read full storyWhite House and Pizza Hut Stand off over as Compromise is Brokered
The weeklong crisis involving Pizza Hut, President Obama, some expired coupons and the United Nations has ended thanks to the intervention of former Monkeys drummer Mickey Dolenz. Talks between President and Pizza Hut had at one stage collapsed co...
Read full storyDramatic New Weight Loss System Has Millions Asking For Prescriptions but Physicians Warn Of Side Effects
A brand new weight loss system that will guarantee at least 50 % body weight loss is to be made available on a prescription basis at a cut rate price, some saying the single shot could cost as little as $9.99, however Doctors have warned that side ef...
Read full storyRenaming of Famous Clock Tower Big Ben Angers Comedic Actors Fans
Furious fans of American comedian Ben Stiller are furious after news that London's famous clock tower, named after the Hollywood superstar, will be renamed Elizabeth Tower in honor of Queen Elizabeth's diamond jubilee. "The House of Commons Commi...
Read full storyEuro 2012: FA to create Centre of Excellence for Penalty Taking in Dorking.
Following England's defeat to Italy on penalties at Euro 2012, the Football Association have decided to spend millions of pounds on a new Centre of Excellence designed to make England penalty winners. Sir Trevor Frooking CBE (Cant Be Easy) announc...
Read full storyHart to return to Krak 'one' òw! - Blue Joe to follow Buffon's Porn Regime
Following Sunday's inevitable penalty shoot out loss to the Azzurri, England's 'non-stopper', Joe Hart, has decided to ditch the high tech approach to identifying where opponents are likely to stick their penalties and take a leaf out of Italian lege...
Read full story8 Ways to Spot If Your Man Is Cheating
Has your boyfriend or husband suddenly started grooming himself before work? Has he lost interest in the bedroom? Is he sneaking around whispering on the phone and receiving late night text messages? Have you spotted lipstick on his collar? There is probably a very reasonable explanation for all the above. For instance he may have started grooming himself for work because there could be a prom...
Read full storyNadya Suleman Gigglingly Admits That She Finally Has A Boyfriend
LOS ANGELES - Nadya Suleman, better known as "OctoMom" is reported to be walking on Cloud 9. The 36-year-old mother of 14, including octuplets, recently confided to her hair stylist that she has finally found herself a boyfriend. When she was a...
Read full storyCameron haunted by 'It's Not Like We're Brothers!' jibe about Nick Clegg
London - Secret DNA-harvesting sensors installed in House of Commons urinals have finally registered their biggest hit. Months of meticulous 'taking the piss' have thrown up new data on Nick Clegg's bloodlines, first flagged up as suspicious follo...
Read full storyRangers Merger Story A Hoax, Says Writer
A story circulating the internet about a merger between the Scottish football giants Glasgow Rangers, and their Premier League namesakes, Queens Park Rangers, is a hoax, says the story's writer, me. The story, which appeared on satirical news webs...
Read full story"1D's Harry Is Tiring Of Older Women And Wants Someone His Own Age Or Even A Bit Younger" - Says Verity Warbling-Trollblog
Skoob Entertainment News's recently reinstated gossip columnist, Verity Warbling-Trollblog has stated in no uncertain terms that Harry Styles out of One Direction has had his fill of older women, and wants to meet a nice young lady of his own age, or...
Read full storyPresident Barack Obama Waves His White Sox Pennant at Red Sox Fans
President Barack Obama came to Boston one day after the trade of Kevin Youkilis to the Chicago White Sox. Mr. Obama may be in a tough re-election this year when every vote will be important in November. No vote can be taken for granted. With th...
Read full storySpider-Man Has Sandwich Named for Him at Carnegie Deli
It's Spider-Man week in NYC. To celebrate, the world-famous Carnegie Deli has announced a special sandwich. It's called "The Spidey." At Grand Central Station yesterday the man himself talked about the sandwich and said he couldn't wait to dig his...
Read full storyAdvice, Support & Tips for those entering old age - from Bartholomew Utterswaithe Part 3
This article, was designed by the effervescent, disconsolate, decrepit, depressed Bartholomew Utterwaithe (66), to offer help, support, succour and advice to those of the population who are entering their 60's - in an effort to lessen the culture-shock suffered by many, when they also get made redundant at 62 years of age, then suffer heart failure, loneliness, depression, and being overcharged fo...
Read full storyNation Hangs on Fractious Supreme Court Decision in Adam Click Case
Washington,D.C.-The nation is on pins and needles awaiting the most important decision of the Supreme Court's current term: whether to grant clemency to chronic parking scofflaw Adam Click. The case involves the long running battle between Mr. Cli...
Read full storyDavid Letterman Tells Justin Bieber He'll Pay To Have His Brand New Tattoo Removed
NEW YORK CITY - Many felt that talk show host David Letterman was a little too rough with one of his recent guests, Justin Bieber. Letterman noticed Justin's brand new "Believe" tattoo which he had just gotten on his left arm just below his bicep.
Read full storyJenny Shimizu makes a comeback
An 18-year-old woman named Jenny Shimizu from Kingston, Jamaica has recovered from a battle with a flesh-eating bacteria infection in New York City. Doctors have upgraded her condition from "bad" to "recovered." "She is in good spirits even though...
Read full storyEasy Recipies Number 3 - Instant Soup (From a Packet)
In this short series of recipes we will teach readers how to prepare snacks, lunches and even 5 course dinners quickly and easily. Today we continue the series with instant soup. 1. It is important before you even consider preparing this dish that you research which flavor of instant soup you are going to have. There are many to choose from and I would suggest you carefully set aside three day...
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