Hunt for Mona Lisa's tomb moves to Notre Dame de Paris
Paris - Italian art historians are having none of it of course despite an avalanche of evidence coming from Paris. But the quest to locate the last resting place of Lisa Gherardini Del Giocondo suddenly shifted this week from the Ursuline Convent...
Read full storyEasy Recipes: Number Two - Scrambled Eggs
In this short series of recipes we will teach readers how to prepare snacks, lunches and even 5 course dinners quickly and easily. Today we continue the series with scrambled eggs. 1. It is important before you even consider preparing this dish that you seek out the best egg laying chicken or hen you can find. I would suggest spending several days speaking with farmers. Once a chicken or hen...
Read full storyEasy Recipes: Number One - The Perfect Toasted Sandwich
In this short series of recipes we will teach readers how to prepare snacks, lunches and even 5 course dinners quickly and easily. Today we begin with the toasted cheese sandwich. 1. It is important before you even consider preparing this dish that you seek out the best cheese for the job. I have often felt that not enough importance is placed on cheese selection. I would recommend maybe 3 o...
Read full storyThe Battle of The Boy Bands: America's and England's One Direction Bands Are Suing Each Other For Name Infringement
NEW YORK CITY - The New Kids on The Block, The Backstreet Boys, 'NSYNC, and 98 Degrees never had this kind of problem. Noella Tullahoma, editor of 16 Tons Teen Magazine, stated that she checked into the Library of Congress Artistic Name Section an...
Read full storyDustin Pedroia Changes His Sox to Knee Length
With the changing of the guard at Fenway Park we have seen also the changing of the socks. For many years Jason Varitek, known for his notable big C on the chest, was dubbed official "Captain" of the team. One of the unwritten signs he was the old...
Read full storyU.S. Olympian Lolo Jones Sacrifices Virginity for Olympic Dream
Eugene, OR - Self-declared "virgin" and Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones was having a rough season. Four years after a stumble on the ninth hurdle cost her a gold medal at the Beijing games, Jones didn't seem to have even a remote shot at redemption. Enter...
Read full storyHolder Admits to 'Fast and Furious' Foul-Up: 'We Forgot the Drugs'
Washington DC - Under mounting pressure to disclose more details about the government's Fast and Furious gun-running fiasco, Attorney General Eric Holder revealed today that the effort failed because a "drug tracking" component of the operation was n...
Read full storyMan Facing Redundancy Loses More Than One Job
An Iowa man, after learning he faced redundancy discovered that losing one job has a knock on affect, resulting in him losing three jobs in one day. Courtney Bowersocks, 45, was told that the factory where he works, producing chocolate fireguards,...
Read full storyGovernment Sack Benefit Cheats
Government officials have outlined plans to sack benefit cheats and replace them with people that might have cheated, but did not have the bottle to do so. The change in circumstances for many fraudsters means they will no longer be able to sustain t...
Read full storyNorth Carolina bans same-sex tennis partners!
The Raleigh News & Observer is reporting that The United States Tennis Association is expressing shock and outrage regarding the passing of legislation yesterday in the North Carolina legislature that bans same-sex tennis partners. The bill, spon...
Read full storyFA sue EUFA and FIFA for crimes against humanity!
After last nights penalty shoot-out against the cool Italians, England and the FA have decided to sue both the EUFA and FIFA on the grounds of crimes against humanity, mental torture and a flagrant show of discrimination against England, English play...
Read full storyRicky Gervais Blames His Downward Spiraling Career On Fellow Brit Piers Morgan
LOS ANGELES - Reports coming out of Tinsel Town state that comedian Ricky Gervais is very concerned about the fact that his career has hit some fairly good speed bumps. He recently sat down and talked with Hollywood Innuendo's Fajita San Guacamole...
Read full storyDownsizing Of Famous Picasso Oil Painting Begins Next Week!
The famous 11ft x 25.5ft oil on canvas 'Guernica' painting by Pablo Picasso hanging in Madrid's Museo Reina Sofia is to be turned into 276 separate smaller works with each one then being sold off at auction. The museum believes that by turning Gue...
Read full storyUngrateful Italian Betrays Martyr Nation
Ex West Ham 'reject', misfit, dud, flop, chancer, but decent penalty taker Alessandro Diamanti last night scored the winning spot-kick taking Italy through and knocking rightful winners England out of what is now a complete failure of a tournament.
Read full storyKate Middleton Unable to Conceive and Will Adopt Baby from Ethiopia after Advice from Angelina Jolie and Madonna - Prince Phillip Horrified
Buckingham Palace has announced that Kate Middleton and Prince William are to adopt a child from Africa after today's earlier announcement that Kate Middleton is unable to conceive. The Royals have sought advice from Angelina Jolie and Madonna...
Read full storyVenus Williams Dumped Out of Wimbledon Claims She Has Several Previously Undiagnosed Syndromes
Five-time champion Venus Williams was sensationally and unceremoniously dumped from Wimbledon after a straight-sets first-round defeat by Elena Vesnina. The 32-year-old American though is claiming that she is suffering from several previously un...
Read full storyVast majority doesn't believe you can do anything you put your mind to: study
HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study this week, the results of which may have a profound effect on the way Americans view life. The vast majority or 90.9% of people surveyed, or 10 of 11 kids at Harfold Fish & Chips, reveal a...
Read full storySyrian Defectors Flee Damascus Unhappy With Government Alliance with Aliens and Impending Invasion by US Led NATO Forces
Dozens of members of Syria's military defected to Turkey overnight with their families, a Turkish official said Monday, unhappy that their Government may lead them into war with the USA and the new secret pact with aliens who are using the cover of S...
Read full storyDyson anti-tangle cables revolutionise electronics
Dyson's latest simple, but desperately needed invention has created a tsunami among electronics manufacturers: anti-tangle cables. This solves at a stroke the problem plaguing all modern houses: cables that spontaneously tangle up with each other and...
Read full storyJapan sells first fish caught near Fukushima following nuclear crisis
TOKYO - The first seafood caught off Japan's Fukushima coastline since last year's nuclear disaster went on sale Monday, the biggest seller being the 800 pound and 50ft shrimp and the glow in the dark Octopus with 16 tentacles. Flying Flounder...
Read full storyBritish Female Athletes to Wear Traditional Clothing During The Olympics in Solidarity With Other Cultures
British Female athlete's competing at next month's Olympic Games will wear traditional clothing in an unprecedented act of solidarity with other competing nation's female athletes who will also be wearing traditional dress. Welsh shot-putter Alwyn...
Read full storyAnna Chapman 'accomplice' arrested in Man From U.N.C.L.E-style fake mustache fiasco
Netherlands - A fake mustache missing since 2001 from the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library collection of espionage artifucts is in the frame according to NATO sources. Apparently it dropped off during this morning's arrest of an alleged Anna Cha...
Read full storyLong Goodbye of Kevin Youkilis
In April Manager Bobby Valentine of the Red Sox questioned the dedication and physical ability of Kevin Youkilis. On the day Youk is traded to the White Sox, Bobby V notes that Youk's dedication was legendary. Participating in the longest goodbye...
Read full storySociologists Ponder England's Exit From Euro 2012
Sociologists around Britain are studying the social and personal consequences of the English football team's premature departure from yet another major tournament. Many believe that the damage done to the very fabric of British domesticity is neither...
Read full storyItalian Mafia Steal Euro Match
The hand of the Italian Mafia was clearly behind Italy's lucky win against England in Kiev. It grabbed the shirt of John Terry in the Italian penalty area and only an immediate loan to the Referee blurred his eyesight, leaving England without a c...
Read full storyEuro 2012: England prepare to fly home after Italy defeat
England players are today packing their suitcases and preparing to fly back home after the 4-2 penalty defeat to Italy last night. Ashley Cole and Ashley Young who both missed their crucial kicks, have already been offered a pizza advert, followin...
Read full storyWe're all doomed - Washington the end of the world
White House sources admitted, late Tooosday [Gesundheit! -Ed], that it's just not worth it. Said spokesman Ed Havenuff, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have to face facts. The World finds itself trying to navigate a well-known stream without a means of...
Read full storyEngland Penalty Jinx Strikes Again!
The England football team's interest in the Euro 2012 championship was finally put to bed late last night, after another nail-biting penalty shoot-out defeat - this time at the hands of Italy. The game had ended 0-0. Not even goal-line technolo...
Read full storyFormer Vice-President Dick Cheney's Daughter Mary Cheney Marries Her Longtime Girlfriend And The Teabag Party Is Furious!
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Mary Cheney, the daughter of former Vice-President and Mrs. Dick Cheney, wed her long time girlfriend Heather "Edgar Allan" Poe in a wedding ceremony in Washington, D.C.'s Mount GOP Church. According to GOPicky Magazine reporter...
Read full storyTropical Storm Debby Stalls Over Washington DC
Washington DC: The National Hurricane Center indicates that Tropical Storm Debby formed in Hollywood Florida in 2011 and subsequently red storm warnings were posted. The latest forecasts have Debby centered about two miles south-southeast of th...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera Explains The Reason For Her Tremendous Weight Gain
LOS ANGELES - Christina Aguilera recently stated that she has become somewhat depressed at the seemingly never-ending comments, remarks, and jokes regarding her recent incredibly stupendous weight gain. She told Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors that...
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