Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 25 June 2012

image for Former Vice-President Dick Cheney's Daughter Mary Cheney Marries Her Longtime Girlfriend And The Teabag Party Is Furious!
Music for the Cheney-Poe wedding reception was provided by Gay Ray & The Sidesaddle Trio.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Mary Cheney, the daughter of former Vice-President and Mrs. Dick Cheney, wed her long time girlfriend Heather "Edgar Allan" Poe in a wedding ceremony in Washington, D.C.'s Mount GOP Church.

According to GOPicky Magazine reporter and political expert Amos Soursuckle, many dyed-in-the-wool Republicans are referring to the marriage as "that marriage."

Soursuckle stated that he spoke with Hillard D. Dufferfaust, an executive member of the ultra, radical, right wing, conservative Teabag Party faction and he was absolutely furious.

He stressed that Mary Cheney (who resembles a young Dana Carvey) and her new husband Heather Poe (who resembles a young Susan Boyle) both know that according to the Teabag Party rules, regulations, and bylaws that there is no way that two females can enter into a union of holy matrimony.

Dufferfaust pointed out that on page 312, paragraph 3, it specifically states: Marriage between two Republican lesbianites is strictly forbidden and any parties who are discovered to be in violation [i.e. by getting married] will be subject to a fine of $12,000 each.

Mr. Soursuckle asked if there were any other sanctions that the couple could possibly face. He shook his head and stated that as he speaks plans are being drawn up to see about removing both Miss Cheney and Miss Poe from the dues-paying membership of the Teabag Party.

Dufferfaust further added that he will convene the Teabag Party's Committee of Revue and Sanctioning about possibly having the newlyweds deported to Mexico or perhaps even farther on south to Guatemala, Nicaragua, or Bolivia.

When GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle contacted the newlyweds and informed them of what Mr. Dufferfaust had said they both rolled their eyes and said that the Duffster can bend down and kiss each one of their former GOP butts.

SIDENOTE: Soursuckle tried to reach Mr. and Mrs. Dick Cheney to get their comments but he was told by their maid that they had booked an emergency session with their family therapist.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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