Written by bartlebysnopes

Monday, 25 June 2012

Eugene, OR - Self-declared "virgin" and Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones was having a rough season. Four years after a stumble on the ninth hurdle cost her a gold medal at the Beijing games, Jones didn't seem to have even a remote shot at redemption. Entering the race as the sixth fastest 100 meter hurdler in the U.S. this year, Jones somehow pulled off a miraculous 3rd place finish, taking the final qualifying spot in the event.

"She hasn't looked good all year until this meet," her coach said after the race. "But we've been holding back. We had a special training secret."

Jones reveled just what that secret was at a press conference after the race.

"I had sex last night," she told the shocked crowd of reporters after they asked what her secret was.

Although this may seem like no big deal for a woman who's almost thirty, Jones had recently declared how being a virgin was harder than training for the Olympics.

"I love hurdling and I love being a virgin," she told reporters weeks ago.

But with less than fifteen hours until the finals of the 100 meter hurdles, Jones knew that her dream of a second Olympic games was in jeopardy.

"I knew that one of my dreams was going to be crushed. I figured I'd have sex eventually, so why not now?" Jones explained to the reporters.

Jones wouldn't reveal how she knew that having sex would lead to an Olympic berth, nor did she reveal the identity of her sex partner. Although there is much speculation, no solid evidence exists yet.

One thing's for sure: after watching her victory celebration, Jones sprawled out on the track with her spandex wedged up her firm buttocks, there are plenty of men volunteering to be her "training" partner for the London Olympics.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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